The Crazy World (tm) of Rob Miles

Where's Rob?

2006-05-19T16:48:00.000+01:00

Rob is moving about a bit. He is in the middle of sliding his blog and just about everything else over to www.robmiles.com. The reasons for this are many and varied, mainly that he can put resources and tags and feeds and things into his new home. For the last week or so he has been triple blogging and the strain is beginning to tell. Bottom line, for the latest in Rob's Bloggy Goodness you should head over to the mother lode above.

Heading Home

2006-05-12T10:34:00.000+01:00

Will I ever stay anywhere as posh again?

Well, today I packed up all my stuff ready for the journey back. Every time I go abroad I end up buying a new bag to take stuff home with me. This trip was no exception. I got a rather racy red number (should show up well on the luggage belt) for 14 dollars into which I can put all the presents that I bought for the folks back home. Just to make sure that they are sincerely pleased to see me.

Then, having purchased the jelly beans for number on daughter, it was off to the airport.

This is the 'Vegas arrivals. Note how there are slot machines so that you can gamble even as you wait for your suitcase to appear.

I took me a while to time this photograph correctly, but take a close look at the screen at the far end and....

Imogen Heap is playing 'Vegas!

Very surprised (and impressed) to see that Imogen Heap is playing 'Vegas. We saw her live in York a few weeks back and she was jolly good. If you are in 'Vegas you should drop by. Or you could save the travel and just buy the album "Speak for Yourself".

After that surprise it was onto the plane for the journey back. I've found a way to survive long journeys. It is called the Archos AV500 and Veronica Mars technique. I managed to watch five episodes whilst waiting on various planes and in airports. If you have not seen it before, I'd advise you to take a look. Take a bit of Buffy, a pinch of OC and add just a smidgeon of Twin Peaks and you have Veronica Mars. Snappy, sassy and set in a High School campus. More stereotypes than an advertising excutives handbook, but quite fun nonetheless.

And then back home for blessed sleep.

Bus Trip

2006-05-11T21:03:00.000+01:00

Being on top of a bus does have its advantages...

On the final day of my visit to 'Vegas I thought I'd take a trip around. Now, I always try to make use of public transport when I go abroad. In the 'states this is usually a good deal because taxis can be expensive and you do see a lot more of the local life by catching a bus. So I did. I bought a five dollar ticket which entitled me to a day's worth of travel and set off to take in the sights. And the Las Vegas Outlet Mall where I planned to buy some trousers. What a jet set lifestyle I have eh?

Anyhoo, I got on the bus, driven by someone whose nametag said was called "Jimmy". Jimmy obviously went to the "Attilla the Hun" school of customer relations. He contrived to be rude, unhelpful and unpleasant in around five words and three gestures. Then someone on the bus took a bit of a turn and had to go and sit down for a while at the stop. Jimmy first ignored the problem, then went outside and shouted at them for being unwell, then, when the person had wandered off in search of a cool drink, called for an ambulance, stopped the bus service called and threw us all off onto the pavement. Nobody liked Jimmy. His replacement, who was so efficient I've forgotten his name, turned up in a virtually empty bus a couple of minutes later. And the really good news was that I got to sit on the top deck, in the front, with a wonderful view of the strip. And a camera. I took loads (and I mean loads) of pictures. There are a bunch on my Flickr site. Didn't buy any trousers though. Such is life. When evening came I went out again with my cameras, just to get a few final snaps.

The view outside my hotel at night

I made it as far as the Harley Davidson Cafe before I caught a bus back. Not driven by Jimmy.

Sumo Loser

2006-05-10T23:44:00.000+01:00

My robot doing what it does best: running away.

For the last couple of days I've been working away on my Sumo robot. I got the kit on Monday and tonight we had the finals. The robots are really neat. You can program them using C# and they are powered by the rinky dink .NET Micro Framework. I wasn't sure about winning on the performance front, so I thought I'd go for style. A moving graphical display looked like it might hit the spot and so I got one and strapped it on the top of my competitor.

Turned out that style was the only point on which I had any chance of scoring. In the competition my robot did something that it had never done in the many seconds of intensive testing that I did before the event. It developed a taste for just piling out of the circle as quickly as possible. Perhaps it was obeying some higher "survival" programming which I was unaware of. At any rate it meant that for me, the game was over very quickly. It is perhaps just as well, some of the competitors looked to be deeply scary, pouncing on their prey and forcing them out of the ring.

The good news is that I got together with a bunch of fellow "second placers" and we set up a kind of "off piste" fighting arena where we just turned them loose. This was great fun to watch, even though my robot never actually won anything, it did manage to lose with a certain style…..

Robot Brawling

The Hand of Fate

2006-05-10T14:41:00.000+01:00

I've always found probability interesting. Last week in the paper someone was writing about the way that things always even out, but over the very long run. You would expect that if you toss a coin 100 times you would get 50 heads and 50 tails but apparently this is very unlikely to be the case. In fact, you could find that you get many more heads than tails. And yet, just because you've had more tails this does not meant that the next toss is more likely to be heads (because it is "their turn") or tails (because they are popular at the moment).

I've been thinking about this and it makes a kind of sense. If you could use the fact that there have been 50 heads and 49 tails to predict that the 100^th coin toss will definitely produce a tail then the coin toss is not random, and therefore something is wrong with fate. I even got to thinking that some part of the universe keeps track of the ups and downs of randomness and makes sure that things level out over the long run. Actually, this is unlikely to be the case, in that what is really going on is that stuff is just happening, and we are trying to draw conclusions from what we see. At the moment I'm in Las Vegas, a town built on probability, and it is interesting to see that all the roulette wheels have displays which show the most recent results to "help" the player decide which number is going to turn up next. As if.

Anyhoo, I got an even bigger does of probability today when I picked up a raffle ticket for a prize draw at one of the events here. I loudly told everyone around me that I might as well tear the ticket up right now because I never, ever win raffles. A fact that struck me as particularly unfair as the prize was a pretty good one – a shiny mobile phone. Of course, I ended up winning. The only snag is that the phone doesn’t actually work properly back home in England, but there is always ebay……

Rob Speaks

2006-05-09T18:36:00.000+01:00

Do you have those "What on earth am I doing here?" or "How did I get into this?" kind of moments very often. I don't have too many and fortunately, being of a literal frame of mind, I can usually answer the questions with "Giving a talk" and "Via the lobby". I had one of those today though, just before I gave my presentation. I've met people who say airily "Oh, I never get nervous before I give a talk". Well I do. I regard it as part of the preparation process. I reckon that a certain amount of concern about the way that things are going to turn out does tend to improve the final product. When I fly home on Friday I want the pilot to be fretting to some degree about the success of the take off and landing parts.

So there's nothing wrong with getting nervous, although I have found that if you turn into a quivering wreck on stage this can cause the audience to lose some of their respect for you. I reckon the key to nailing presentation nerves is preparation. If you have confidence in your knowledge of what you are going to speak about, have tested all the props and demos, and have contingency plans if they don't work, then you can just get on and do the job. So, after some pacing of the stage, the appointed time comes and off we go. And just about everything works. And the audience seem to like it. And I finish on time (always a plan if yours is a session immediately before lunch). And they even clapped at one point. Thanks folks.

MEDC 2006 Gets Going

2006-05-09T09:12:00.000+01:00

Went to the keynote of MEDC 2006 today. The first thing that caught my eye was the way that Platform Builder has now been tied very neatly into Visual Studio 2005. Platform Builder is the tool that you use to buld platforms (well - duh). More specifically, it lets you create a custom version of Windows CE for the particular target device. You use it to select which features (Media Player, Compact Framework etc etc) and it then builds the stuff that you put into your device to make it work. Previously this has been a slightly mysterious affair, with strange incantations and tools being required. But now it is looking a lot simpler with a new project option for studio (is there nothing this tool can't do) that does most of the grunt work and some very nice editing tools to help you with the rest of the job.

Startup Slide

Then it was on to a demonstration of how easy it is to build embedded systems these days, with a Point of Sale cash till being created on the fly out of various components. The next thing they mentioned was pure music to my ears. The .NET Micro Framework was announced. This is not going to be micro. Quite the reverse. It is a continuation of a development which started a couple of years ago, when a small company took the technology that makes the Spot watch work and then deployed it as a general purpose controller that you could program in C#. At the time I got very excited about this technology, but they unfortunately it all went quiet. But now it is back with a whack and Microsoft properly behind it. They were even giving away robots powered by .NET micro (I managed to get one and it will be taking part in the robot sumo competition on Wed. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, this technology is going to be very big indeed and will be super for teaching.

Camera's eye view of the keynote

After that, the stuff about the new Mobile Patterns and Practices was a little less exciting, but it is none the less very useful. One of the things that it provides is a set of libraries which allow you to create completely different layouts for different screen sizes and orientations. These are selected automatically as required, and should mean the end of things on the screen getting into a mess when you change the orienation of your device from landscape to portait.

My robot, ready for action.

Getting Started at MEDC

2006-05-08T21:47:00.000+01:00

Today I got my conference bag. One of my rituals is to empty it out and see what swag I've got

Not bad. Of course only a really sad person would post a picture of their entry badge as well...

Now promise that you won't copy it and take over my identity.

In 'Vegas even the lifts have chandeliers in them.

I'm not sure if they had one of these in Venice. But they have one here.

At the end of this beautiful corridor there are some slot machines. A lot of slot machines.

A view of my hotel from the walkway.

The only way to get in or out this hotel is via the moving stairway. Apparently this broke down last month and twenty people were trapped on it for two days. (I have used this gag before, but I still like it).

I got this lovely sumo kit. You get to make a .NET Embedded controlled robot, which you can program in C#. Wonderful. On Wed. we get to make them fight each other. But first I have to build it.

I'm doing session 2. Scary eh? More tomorrow.

Venetian Luxury

2006-05-08T07:59:00.000+01:00

Neat view. I wonder if I could hit the pool from here.....

But now I am in 'Vegas, and staying at one of the poshest hotels in the city thanks to a Microsoft discount deal (I dread to think how much this place would cost if I was paying full price). I'm here to talk at the Microsoft MEDC (Mobile and Embedded DevCon) 2006. My talk is on Tuesday about casual game development (the games are casual, not the development).

My luggage has found me. I gave the case a serious telling off. I went and fetched it from customer services, and was comprehensively snubbed by the chap that I saw in the lift. I think he was of the opinion that anyone actually carrying a largish item of luggage must be staff, and in my case not even very well dressed staff.

My goodness this place is posh. Last time I was in the 'states I had room at a Howard Johnston motel in San Jose. This worked fine for me, although when I was talking to one bloke I mentioned where I was staying and he said "How interesting.." in a way which made me think that I'd just told him I was recently released from prison.

However, posh as this place is (and it is very posh – I'll post some pictures later) Howard Johnson does have the edge in several important respects.

Mirrors: the Howard Johnston bathroom contained precisely one mirror, which was easy to avoid. In my current bathroom there are five. Five. That means that when I stagger out of the shower feeling particularly fragile (as I just have) it is impossible to turn so that I can't see the lanky, white, pot-bellied creature which has just emerged. And to make things worse, some of the mirrors are on opposite walls and reflect each other, so that I can actually see hundreds of pasty me's, disappearing off to into the distance. Must do wonders for the recruitment at the fitness spar. Does nothing for me.

Shampoo: in the Howard Johnston there was a single soap dispenser in the bathroom which dispensed a multi-purpose concoction good for cleaning your hands, face, hair and shoes. In the Venetian there are a number of different bottles which contain different lotions, most of which involve cucumber for some reason. However, they are all very similar in colour and all very hard to use. I had to squeeze the conditioner bottle so hard that it flew out of my hands and then proceeded to ricochet around the shower cubical for a few noisy seconds. Later I found I have conditioned my hair with body balm.

Coffee: in Howard Johnston's a room contains a percolator and enough bits and bobs to make a few drinks (it also contains a fridge – which was so efficient in Warren's room that it froze his can of Pepsi rock solid – but we'll pass over that). In the Venetian there is nothing of the sort. Instead there is a well stocked minbar which is squatting in the corner daring me to take something off its sensor laden shelves so that I can make even more money for the establishment. I'm going to make precisely one purchase (a jar of Venetian banded jelly beans ($9.00) on the last day for number one daugher. So there.

WIFI: Howard Johnston had free WIFI. True, I'm not actually sure it was operated by them, but it did work and was free. The Venetian seems to have nothing of the sort. There are a bunch of networks with enticing names but nothing that seems to work. The room guide talks about internet access but no details are available. Then again, perhaps people who come to 'Vegas and then have an urge to surf the web would be regarded by the resort operators as a lost cause from a profit point of view.

Access: I could get to my Howard Johnston room straight from the car park. As could lots of other people I suppose, but at least entry was quick and immediate. To get to my room here I have to use two lifts and pass a bunch of security guards. Actually, I quite like this, as in the HJ I had to put things into the little floor safe all the time, which meant kneeling on the area of carpet which was damp when we arrived and never stopped smelling funny. I did wonder if they had been cleaning off the chalk outline that is drawn around dead bodies in CSI. Or perhaps it was a dropped jar of pickles. Anyhoo, I reckon that the Venetian wins here, as I've looked around carefully but I've found no evidence of such things. Or any pickles for that matter.

However, having said all this, I do really like this room. I just wished I earned enough to be able to afford it properly.

Off to 'Vegas

2006-05-07T21:37:00.000+01:00

At least this plane doesn't have hydraulics.

Here's a little tip for travellers. If you are travelling via Amsterdam airport (or Schipol) make sure that in your hand baggage you include enough clothes to get you through the night after you arrive. Don't just think about doing this, like I did. This means that when (and I do mean when) your luggage gets lost you can at least have something to change into when you finally reach your hotel room at twenty eleven o'clock or whatever time it was that I finally got here. Having forgotten this step I was stuck with the clothes I was standing in. Which after around 20 hours of travelling are probably actually capable of standing up by themselves.

The very helpful lady at Las Vegas airport just went "Ah, Amsterdam" like it happens all the time. The other interesting thing about Amsterdam is that you can land at a runway which seems to be at the other side of the city. Once we had touched down we must have spent around twenty minutes motoring along to get to the terminal. We even stopped at two pedestrian crossings (this is not actually true, but it would be so neat if you could have planes waiting while you crossed the road). The whole thing reminded me very much of a World War 2 flying game from way back. We discovered that if you didn't leave the ground you could taxi all the way to the target at 200 miles an hour (including over the channel) drop your bombs with total accuracy and then rumble home without a scratch on the plane. These days of course you would get caught by loads of speed cameras.

Anyway, apart from losing my luggage, and the plane breaking down as it was taxiing onto the runway to take off, it was a fairly uneventful journey. I used to have an Austin Mini, a car made up of roughly equal parts rust and filler. One day, as I was approaching a junction, I put my foot on the brake to slow down a bit and the pedal went all the way down the floor without (and this is the worrying bit) having any affect on the speed whatsoever. Scary stuff. The pilot of our plane out of Minneapolis must have had roughly the same sensation as he discovered that one of his hydraulic systems did not actually have any fluid in it (which turned out to be what was wrong with my Mini too). So we had to find a none-broken aircraft which added an extra 90 minutes (but a lot of excitement) to the final leg of the journey.

The best plan with jetlag (I've been told) is to force yourself to stay up as late as possible so that you quickly get used to the new timings of day and night. It is now 9:30 pm. The heck with the best plan. I'm off to bed.

A too familiar name at the airport

2006-05-07T08:49:00.000+01:00

Blossom

2006-05-04T19:57:00.000+01:00

I love the spring time. Even when it is late. The trees on our road are in blossom at the moment, so it was out with the big camera....

I don't think captions could add much.

Feeling good about not buying a dalek

2006-05-03T22:52:00.000+01:00

I nearly did you know. They had one of the new ones at Collectormania. All gold and beautiful. And reduced too. It called from me from inside it's shiny box. And I was sore tempted for a while. Until number one son broke the spell with a firm "You only need one dalek you idiot".

I disagree. When push comes to shove I think it is those of us with the most daleks which will win out. And it didn't help that Rachel bought one.

Did by a robot car though. I'll post some pictures when I've worked out how to transform it.

All Powerful Jack

2006-05-02T19:48:00.000+01:00

On Sunday I also managed to get a real prize. A set of "24" Top Trumps cards. Most of the cast are there. Of course, if you get hold of Jack you are pretty much unbeatable:

..which is pretty much how it should be.

Worry about an angel

2006-05-01T21:34:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we had a kind of competition. We all had five pounds and the name of the game was to find the most naff trinket from the stuff assembled at Collectormania. I was pretty sure I was in with a good chance with my talking Mr. T keychain and talking Smegal. But number one daughter comprehensively thrashed our efforts with the twin power of her smelly "Pup Pourri" and "Worry Angel". What's more, she rubbed our noses in it by also being able to afford some chocolate stick things. But they tasted quite nice apparently, and so were not in the running.

And here is the worry angel message, for you all to enjoy.

I want fifty. Industrial strength ones.

Call Collect

2006-04-30T22:08:00.000+01:00

I like Collectormania. A chance to get up early (4:15am) and drive down the motorway to Milton Keynes in search of strange stuff and star scrawls.

...but at least you do get to see a nice sunrise.

This is Mira Furlan, of Babylon 5 and Lost fame. I still find it amazing that we can we can meet up with such people when we've seen them in so many episodes.

This is Ron Glass of Serenity fame....

..and this is Alan Tudyk, who was in the same movie, and also played good roles in A Knight's Tale and Dodgeball. The chap on the left is number one son.

You could also have your photo taken alongside the Robocop car, next to a model of the clockwork lawman himself. Snag is that the car is a very ordinary looking saloon. And you'd think if they were rebuilding you they'd take the opportunity to make you more than five foot tall...

There are some more pictures on the Flickr account on the right, with pseudo-witty captions..

Pigs and Bliss

2006-04-29T20:37:00.000+01:00

We went out to get some pigs today. These are pedigree. Oh yes.

Can't you tell? We are currently working on names. Bubble and Squeak?

On the way out of the garden centre I noticed that the landscape was definitely "Bliss replacement material".

From my shiny phone

2006-04-28T16:08:00.000+01:00

This is being posted from my phone. So now there really is no escape from the crazy world of rob.

Laser Eyes

2006-04-27T19:36:00.000+01:00

Just got an email offering me cut price laser eye surgery. Not keen. Someone I know was talking about this and they said that it was easy peasy. No pain, no hassle, treatment went like a dream. Only thing was that, during the surgery you could actually smell your eyes burning.

All together now.... Eawwwwwwww.

Routemasters - a great way to travel

2006-04-26T20:16:00.000+01:00

On Saturday I heard a very good piece of radio drama. Laugh out loud funny. It is called Routemasters and is about a time travelling bus. You might be able to find it here, it is usually broadcast on Saturday. Well worth tracking down.

Way to make a fool of myself

2006-04-25T22:32:00.000+01:00

I was having coffee today when my phone rang.

"Do you want a mobile phone upgrade?" said the voice over the babble of a distant call centre.

No I don't. Just got a new phone as it happens. And about six months on my contract until I can get another one. I told the chap this as politely as possible and put the phone back in my pocket.

Five minutes later it rings again. Same babble in the background, similar voice asking if I was Mr Miles (if not I suppose I must be a phone thief I thought to myself grimly).

"Look" I said, with the air of a man barely supressing his patience. "I don't want a new phone, and if I do I'll go and get one. OK?" . It was all I could do to restrain the urge to press the red button and end the call.

Silence. Followed by "Sorry, it's just the garage calling to let you know your car is ready". Darn, darn, darn. I firmly believe that life just sets these things up for me specially, to ensure I look as much like an idiot as possible, as often as possible.

Freeview TV

2006-04-24T21:44:00.000+01:00

Bought a Freeview box yesterday. I had this cunning plan to record Channel 5 programs onto one of my mobile gadgets. The box is very nice (and was startlingly cheap). Recieves loads of channels that I don't particularly want to watch. But not Channel 5. At the moment the aerial is in the loft. I think it probably needs to be stuck on the chimney. Unfortunately I have no head for heights (or desire to plummet to an early death). So I think I will have to pay someone else to risk life and limb for me.

Agent of Change

2006-04-23T23:59:00.000+01:00

Some things you have to do because they are your job. At just before midnight tonight I was out making lots of people unhappy. Some years ago myself and Ian created the instation software for the Humber Bridge toll management system. It is our code which tots up the amounts paid and prints out all the shift summaries. And tonight the tolls go up. The system is designed to take this in its stride, and automatically upgrade to the new values when the old ones expire.

But because the tolls have not changed for a while it has not been used in anger for a few years. So tonight I went in so that I could watch some numbers update and convince myself that all was well.

These are the numbers before they go up.

This is the view from the control room.

..and this is the view as I went back to my car. The update went fine, but I'm glad that I went anyway. Perhaps next time I'll trust it to work by itself...

Numb Gums

2006-04-22T20:50:00.000+01:00

Bought a new toothbrush today. Oh, the fast moving, globe trotting, lifestyle that I lead eh?

But this one is special. It vibrates. This is designed to loosen the ingrained plaque and stuff which my mouth is full of.

They were half price and had batteries in them. How could I go wrong? I've found out how. They make your mouth go numb. Oh yes. The vibration is quite high pitched and after twenty seconds or so you can't feel your lips or tongue. Very strange. Number one wife asked me how well the brush worked.

"Maykes yur mowf go mummm" I replied as best I could.

Driving Hell

2006-04-21T21:38:00.000+01:00

Drove back home today. I say drove. More like crawled. Suffice it to say that the M1 was not kind to us. Why do other people have to use the roads when I want to? No fair. It is not as if I do a lot of driving. Perhaps infrequent drivers like me could be given a special pass which lets us use the inside lane (or all of them) at any time and force BMW drivers off the road. And they should put some special hardware into lorries so that when one doing 60.000001 mph decides to overtake one doing 60.0 mph the engine promptly explodes or the steering jams hard left causing both of the stupid things to hurtle off the motorway and smash into the nearest solid object, leaving the way clear for me stuck behind them. And those speed limit signs are a waste of time too. There are few things more annoying than being sat stationary for 20 minutes underneath a sign saying "maximum speed limit 60".

What is wrong with this picture?

2006-04-20T21:02:00.000+01:00

Good Weather for Ducks

2006-04-20T00:26:00.000+01:00

We went down to Slimbridge today to look at the ducks.

..and the flamingos.

..and the swans

...and some ducks.

...and a duck family.

These flamingos are just in their undercoats.

..and these are crows nests. They are building them high in the trees this year which means something. Although I've no idea what.

Wet Whippys

2006-04-19T22:21:00.000+01:00

Went down to Bristol today to meet up with the inlaws. We thought it would be nice to go out to the Downs to get an ice cream. And it would have been even nicer if the weather had been in a good mood. I wonder if there are any other nations where the people enjoy themselves by sitting in a car listening to the rain falling, eating an ice cream with a piece of Cadbury's flake in it? And we did enjoy ourselves too....

Phony Fun

2006-04-18T20:09:00.000+01:00

Got new phone today. After several hours of fiddling with settings I managed to get this up on Flickr. Go me. Number one son is playing Battlefield 2. Great game by the way.

Bridge Walk

2006-04-17T21:39:00.000+01:00

Went for a walk on the bridge today.

..that is the award winning bridge.

This is around the half way point.

Big Tower

They were not kidding about the wind.

How Long Has the Bunny Got?

2006-04-16T20:50:00.000+01:00

Number one daughter received this today (not from us - far too posh for us). Place your bets now on how long it has got...

Tops

2006-04-15T19:48:00.000+01:00

I brought some whizzy light up top things back from San Jose.

I think you ought to know that this photograph was really hard to take.

A Hard Day's Work

2006-04-14T21:32:00.000+01:00

Spent the day applying paint to surfaces. Garage doors, garden fences, metal railings, next door neighbours children etc etc.

Actually we feel terrible about the last one. And it wasn't Megan's fault. Some idiot (i.e. me) left the lid of the paint tin in a very exposed postion. So while we were carefully telling her not to touch the nasty, just painted, railings, she was able to catch her coat on the tin lid. Her mum was very understanding, and apparently it has washed off. And we are going to give her an easter egg. So we hope it will sort itself out at the end.

Just what you want after a hard day at work.

Which would you choose?

2006-04-13T22:02:00.000+01:00

Been playing the "spring loaded game thing from Ikea" with number one daughter. One game a day. Presently winning two games to one. A game of serious skill. Well, which would you remove next?

Another Convert

2006-04-12T21:45:00.000+01:00

Very pleased to find that Ian likes Thin Ice too. Although he claims that the accents aren't authentic Derby. Like he knows.

Pretty Flowers

2006-04-11T20:32:00.000+01:00

The orchids are doing OK in the kitchen.

Cheese and Pickles

2006-04-10T20:56:00.000+01:00

We now have two new family members. We got them some time back but I've just got around to posting. Apparently these are hamsters who can live together without eating each other. I hope so.

But they haven't got the hang of the wheel yet.

The value of uselessness

2006-04-09T21:38:00.000+01:00

I spent a very good portion of today doing nothing of use at all. Played silly video games, thought about washing the car (but didn't) and generally footled around. It is my considered opinion that in today's high pressure society we don't spend enough time just idling, and it is important that we stop to smell the flowers every now and then. Oh yes. Now where's that cup of tea....

So. Are you a panther?

2006-04-08T20:55:00.000+01:00

Got an Orange brochure today. I pick these up as a way of keeping track of what is happening in the mobile phone business (Orange are a mobile phone provider in the UK) . Orange have changed the way they describe their service plans. In the old days they use to have "light user", "heavy user", "business user" and the like. But that was too simple. Now they have Dolphins, Raccoons, Canaries and Panthers. What tosh.

As far as I can remember, raccoons are those nasty furry things that raid your dustbins and bite you. And as for how a dolphin can even hold a mobile phone, let alone dial a number, that is completely beyond me.

The thing that really gets up my nose is the fact that a bunch of "creative" types will have been paid a huge sum of money to come up with this rubbish. I can imagine the meeting:

Creative Drone 1: "What about a stoat?"
Creative Drone 2: "How so?"
Creative Drone 1:" Doesn't use the text much, but enjoys rabbiting"
Creative Drone 2:"Probably not the image we are looking for"
Creative Drone 1:"Elephant?"
Creative Drone 2"Go on"
Creative Drone1:"Doesn't need a phone with a very large memory"
..and so on. All at five hundred pounds an hour.

As a little test, here is the description of the plan, all you have to do is tell me which animal it is:

"If you want no-nonsense basics and see your phone as a tool not a toy, **** is for you."

So, what is it?

One One liner

2006-04-07T22:53:00.000+01:00

I won't say he's unlucky, but he went on a blind date and her guide dog bit him.....

No more big eyes

2006-04-06T21:50:00.000+01:00

I've got my new proper working glasses now. They have replaced the "bug eyed" ones that I used to have to wear. I'm glad I've got rid of them, as they were scaring people who dropped by my office when I was in the middle of using the computer. The new ones look remarkably like my "proper" glasses, which means that I've taken to wearing them by mistake as I wander off down the corridor. It is only when I'm around 100 feet from my office that I realise that I can only see things that are exactly 18 inches away from my nose, and that everything else is a pleasantly coloured blur. I then have to navigate my way back crashing into walls and doors as I do so. Wonderful.

Actually, wearing more than one pair of glasses is actually quite useful. When you get asked a hard question by a student you can do something like:

Say "Well.....". Take off glasses thoughtfully, clean them, put them back in the case, take out other pair of glasses, clean them even more thoughtfully and carefully, put them on, stare intently at the computer screen for a few seconds and press a few keys. Tthen take off close up glases, put on normal glasses, turn to face student and continue "....that all depends."

Writers Block

2006-04-05T22:32:00.000+01:00

In a vain (in both senses of the word - but not the medical one) attempt to promote my literary prowess I've started a new section of my new robmiles.com web presence dedicated to my writings. It presently just contains a full version of my seminal "The Little Brown Ikea Pencil of Doom" and a work in progress of Trip Hazard. If enough people comment on the stuff there I might write some more. Provided you say nice things.

Pub Nite Prius Capers

2006-04-04T23:02:00.000+01:00

Pub nite tonight. A chance to sit around and solve the problems of the universe. And create a few new ones. I explained my scheme for messing with people's heads using a Toyota Prius. This is a car which has a drive mechanism which allows it to be powered by an electric motor and so move along virtually silently.

Now you know how when a car passes you at speed it goes EEEEEEAAAAAWWWWW as the doppler effect makes it first sound high pitched as it comes towards you and then low pitched as it whizzes away? Well, I want to mount a speaker on a silent Prius that goes WWWWWAAAAAEEEEE as it goes past. So to the person it is passing the car just seems to go AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (are you getting this). I was kind of wondering if people would actually notice that the car sounds more like a flying saucer than a real car.

Ian and Pete were mildly taken with the concept once I had got the idea accross. But not so taken as to buy a Prius and try it. If any (or either) of my readers gets round to doing this I'd love to know the result.

Imogen Heap Quite Literally Rocks

2006-04-03T23:48:00.000+01:00

If you are a serious student of my blog (and who isn't) you will have heard me go on about Imogen Heap. Lots. If you have not bought or downloaded her album "Speak for Yourself" then shame on you (but also your loss). Anyhoo, some time back I found that she was playing in York, just down the road. Tickets at only ten pounds a pop? Take the whole family. So I did.

We started the evening with a meal in Pizza Hut. Once we had found one that could be persuaded to serve us. The first one was too busy to let us in. The second one let us in grudgingly. They all seemed surprised by the number of people who wanted to eat tea at tea time. Perhaps they should advertise less. The good news is that they were recruiting new staff. The part we were in was the holding pen for applicants who were sat forlornly formulating a satisfactory response to the question "Why do you want to work at Pizza Hut?". Actually, we thought of one or two good answers. But none that would actually get us a job... The meal deal we had entitled us to a free trip to the "Ice Cream Factory"....

What can I say? I'm off chocolate for Lent. And no, I didn't actually manage to eat all this.

On the way to the venue the sky started doing interesting things:

I thought pictures like this were always faked. But this isn't. Honest.

And then in to the concert.

Like we will be needing those...

Just about everyone at the concert was a fraction of my age. And not a big fraction either. It kind of took me back to school disco days. Anyhoo, they were all fans too, from the way that they responded to the particular track announcements.

The evening kicked off with a set by Zoe Keating. I'd have loved to have heard her under slightly quieter circumstances. The noise of the people at the bar kind of got in the way of her cello playing, but what I did here was lovely. Another one to watch I think. Owing to being trapped on a sofa, I didn't actually managed to get a picture of her playing, but you can find out more here.

Then, at around 9:30, just as advertised, Imogen Heap took to the stage. By gum she was good. I've heard sets before where the singer doesn't have the "live voice" or the backing to sound right. She did. Stuff I've heard before and stuff I haven't sounded splendid.

In blue

In deep blue

In deeply trippy

In red.

Then it was off back down the A1079 (the most evil road in the known universe) and home to bed. Thanks for a great evening Ms. Heap. It was wonderful to hear such a good performer who seemed to be enjoying doing her stuff in front of a live audience. Here's to the next tour. We'll be there.

Telly History

2006-04-02T23:40:00.000+01:00

The telly in the kitchen has failed. It sort of works, but the picture comes and goes, along with the sound, in a way that we are pretty sure is not how the program maker intended. Antiques Roadshow with strobe effects. I think not.

So it was off down to the big shops to get a replacement. Two things struck me. Glass tellys are now so passe. If you want to buy a cheap, glass, TV you are sent into a sort of ghetto area of the store. They put them next to the Video Cassette recorders. Nuff said.

The second thing that struck me was how cheap these things are. When I was a youngster a TV was a pretty substantial investment. Even my first little black and white portable, which allowed me to watch Nationwide and Tomorrows World in glorious greyscale, was such an expense that I had to take out a three month loan to pay for it.

Nowadays a little telly costs around the price of a video game, certainly less than some boxed sets of DVDs. Strange.

Anyhoo, we selected a cheap little number from a company I've not heard too many bad things about and toddled home to plug it in.

No Fun

2006-04-01T19:53:00.000+01:00

I am now very old. So old that I can go on about the good old days. Summers were warmer. Beer was cheaper. The music was more tuneful. (or at least it had one). And April 1st was a fun day. The papers were full of stunts and spoofs. People put effort into being funny and there were some very good pranks. Nowadays there is nothing. I went through the paper and found very little of note. The funny bits were actually more boring than the real news. There was something close to an attempt at humour on the local radio, but it was more likely to start a riot than actually make anyone laugh. In fact the best stuff was nerdy coding stuff you can find here.

I'm wondering if the world is becomming a more serious place, or if I am losing my sense of humour. Perhaps in these strife ridden, energy strapped, over mortgaged, days there is just less to laugh at. I mean, apart from the wonderful Thin Ice and the new season of Green Wing there is pretty much nothing out there on telly.

Oh well, I think I'll listen to some Goons tapes...

Kicking out Andy, and other acts of rudeness

2006-03-31T22:57:00.000+01:00

Kicked Andy out of my office today. Didn't quite shout, but I was quite brusque. There was no problem as such, except that if he had come another pace into the room he would have seen the three laptops that we were going to present him and the other Imagine Cup team members with later in the day. I'm not sure whether he would have put two and two together, but I kicked him out anyway. I felt rather bad about this at the time, but since he ended the day up a rather nice HP laptop I reckon that he will forgive me.

Then, at the quiz night somebody asked me for their grades for the programming work. I didn't actually mark that one, so I said that I couldn't help - perhaps more forcefully than I should have.

I must be careful when I feel a bit tired that I don't actually upset people any more than I do when I'm wide awake. It has been a somewhat exhausting week. Hopefully I will be back on fully polite form for Monday.

Marking Time

2006-03-30T19:38:00.000+01:00

I've been marking again today. It is great fun to take a look at the kind of stuff that the students come up with. Sometimes the code is neat, other times it can be scary. Having said that, these are first year coders, some of whom have not programmed before - so getting the code to work is good enough for me at the moment. Style will come later.

Diners and Meetings

2006-03-29T21:05:00.000+01:00

After the fun and frivolity of last night it was up with the lark so that we could be on the way to Doncaster at 6:45. Just to get to a meeting. The good news was that we rolled up at the diner for breakfast just as it was opening.

Then it was on to Doncaster where we had a good meeting (one were we actually sorted things out and made some plans) and then back to Hull.

This one is for you Rory, if you ever make it this far off the beaten track....

Valuable at Cambridge

2006-03-28T22:42:00.000+01:00

I'm a Microsoft Most Valuable Professional (MVP), which is nice. Always good to be considered valuable. Amongst the benefits of this status are invites to MVP Open Days, which are always interesting. Today I've been at one in Cambridge.

..and that's just the local public toilet.

Anyhoo, we set of bright and early, as shown by the clock below, and went down to Microsoft Research where they showed us a whole bunch of good stuff, only some of which I'm allowed to tell you about. There is a lot more to Vista than a pretty interface, oh yes, and mobile development is just going to get more and more interesting.

Town clock?

On the way back to the college we noticed that the bluebells were out.

..and they do have the most impressive garden sheds I've ever seen.

Every now and then you find out that someone you have admired for being very good at one thing is also extremely good at another. Our MVP Lead (the person charged with looking after our valuableness) has always impressed us loads. Turns out that she can also carry a tune, as she proved by donning a blonde wig and belting out a whole bunch of Eurythmics tunes at the meal at the end of the day. I managed to get a photograph of her in action but it is a bit dark because as a serious photographer (ho ho) I eschew such modern frippery as flash :

Good job Lorna, great stuff.

Winding Up (or is it Down?)

2006-03-27T13:19:00.000+01:00

Last few pictures from the San Jose experience.

On Friday night we went to Fry's Electronics (seemed somehow appropriate). While we were waiting for the taxi back I snapped this. And I didn't buy that much really. Honest.

This is where I've been working all week. The dog is called Jake (you can just see him on the Smartphone screen).

Jon said he was not really trying to get T shirts from the stands. Yeah, right.

This is the offical vehicle of the San Jose Aviation Special Police. Please try to keep a straight face when you are being cuffed and stuffed.

Travelling Ages your Brain

2006-03-26T20:21:00.000+01:00

When we were at the Nintendo GDC keynote we were given a copy of the new DS game which trains your brain and works out its age. I fired it up on Friday and managed to get a brain age of 52 (which is not great but close enough to my real age to not frighten me too much). And it does give me scope for improvement.

Today, in a heavily jetlagged frame of mind, I fired the game up again. 68. Oh well.

Actually, I've just been thinking, if the better you are at the game the younger your brain age is, the best way to win is to set there going "Goo Goo" and sucking a dummy.

Note : this is not the case. According to the book, your optimum brain age is 20. I'm going to head for 12.

Missing Day

2006-03-25T20:20:00.000Z

As far as I am concerned today does not exist.

Crunch Day

2006-03-24T20:00:00.000Z

Today was the day that I did my talk at the GDC. After some last minute tweaking I set forth at 9:00 with 41 slides and 8 demos to deliver in one hour. At the end of it the audience seemed happy enough. Only one demo failed on me because I'd left a file open by mistake, but the rest worked OK and at least this failure gave me the chance to tell "my favourite joke in all the world" while I tried to recover.

If you want to get hold of the resources from the talk you can find them here. I'll be using the material as the basis of a talk at the MEDC (the Microsoft embedded developers conference) in May. If you are serious about mobile development (and who isn't) I'd strongly advise you to go along and take a look. And I promise to tell my favourite joke again.

The Longest Bar in San Jose

2006-03-23T19:41:00.000Z

Tonight we went to what is apparently "The Longest Bar in San Jose". I can't comment on whether there are longer ones (although the research on such an issue would be fun) but their pitcher of Bud was just fine by me. On the way out I snapped a picture.

The bar goes into the picture. And there was a big jukebox.

Now you see it, now you can't

2006-03-22T22:51:00.000Z

We went to the Sony PS3 keynote today. The queue was enormous and so we only just got in. Fortunately we managed to find a seat on the balcony next to one of the huge screens:

Unfortunately for us, they were not using the side screens for the actual PS3 video. so all we saw was as above. Apparently they wanted to use High Definition Video, and only the middle screen (set cunningly back on the stage) could do that. So we were left with nothing. Which did not impress. Later in the talk I moved further back so I could see things and the stuff there was very impressive. Launch in November? I'll be there.

Then one of the real highlights for me. Ronald D. Moroe, the brains behind the wonderful new Battlestar Galactica, came and told us how he put the new show together. Very interesting to hear what were effectively design decisions being described about character and plot. I wasn't sure about the video game connection when he started, but as a lot of video games now tell a story it actually made a whole pile of sense to have him give a talk.

Ronald and the original version.

After that I was due to help out on the Windows Mobile stand. So it was on with the Microsoft shirt and away to give help and support to people wanting to know more about writing code for mobile devices. Great fun. I keep meeting ex students and people from way back who see me, do a double take, tell me I taught them to program and then give me a business card with an impressive title on it. Great stuff. Jon insisted that I put this picture of me out there.

The chap on the right is Eric Engineer, Microsoft Product Manager and top bloke.
As a form of revenge, and also so his loved ones can see what they have been missing, I've also added a picture of Jon with a Camel.

More later

Not so wet today

2006-03-21T22:11:00.000Z

Today was a bit drier than yesterday. Although there was some snow on the mountains apparently.

The day started well, with this really cool car in the motel car park. Then, when we went up town the skies turned a bit more blue.

After a hard day being told stuff we ended up in this neat bar.

A pitcher of Coors Light? That will do nicely.

It Never Rains in San Jose

2006-03-20T22:09:00.000Z

They say it never rains in San Jose.

Until I go there.

San Jose Sunday

2006-03-19T22:04:00.000Z

So we set off for a wander round San Jose.

Fancy a weiner?

These are the things you aren't allowed to do on the train. I was kind of hoping that one of them would be take photographs, which would have been a lark. What do you think the thing on the bottom right (which you are allowed to do)is?

I have a weakness for neon signs.

This was inside the mall in the police station thingy. This is a kind of care in the community that I've not come accross before.

The trainstop had this really nice glass roof.

..and here is the train.

This is the San Jose flea market. A completely amazing place. If you are in San Jose and have a need for a cheap chainsaw, or arc welder, or wedding dress, or cowboy hat, or anything, you must go there. I bought a bag. And a watch.

Where we are.

So, are you a Felipe kind of person. Or do you prefer Eli?

On the way to the brewery for dinner.

This is the beer sampler. Don't have the very dark one. We think that they accidentally poured us some furniture polish. The one with the lemon in was nice though. As was the buffalo burger.

San Jose Morning

2006-03-19T09:52:00.000Z

It is a very nice morning. But apparently things are going to get a lot worse weather wise later in the week. Never mind.

Found this outside the room in our motel.

And this is our motel. We are just about to head out for a day trip. I'm taking the camera, there will be pictures....

Do I know the way to San Jose?

2006-03-19T08:25:00.000Z

Yes. In fact I'm here now writing this. Sitting in my motel room with free WIFI and a big bed. Which I plan to use in a minute or too. But first, the start of the reportage.

At Manchester airport they had a very impressive skylight.

On the plane to Chicago they had happy cheese.

This was the roof of the moving walkway accross the airport in Chicago. Impressive for a ceiling I thought.

..and this is where we just had tea. More tomorrow.

Gungy

2006-03-17T23:20:00.000Z

Helped out at the University Awards Ceremony tonight. I did some judging and some presenting. Great fun. Half way through we had a quiz called "Hostage to Fortune". Two local schools were in the final. Each school had a quiz team and one very special member:

You may be wondering why the two people in special suits. In a padling pool. Well, at the end of the quiz this happened:

I thought the tradition was that only the loser got gunged, but apparently in Hull we are made of sterner stuff.

Bongo Friendee

2006-03-16T22:17:00.000Z

My next door neighbours have a car which revels in the name of a "Bongo Friendee". It is a super four wheel drive people carrier with the best name I've ever heard. I think it originally hails from Japan.

I can't find the bit of the car called "Bongo" (although I swear it is there) but I found the "Friendee".

Manly Voice

2006-03-15T22:13:00.000Z

Got a very manly voice at the moment. Something to do with a throat thingy which I seem to have caught. I feel fine, but I have very a very impressive rumbly way of speaking. I think I should record a bunch of movie trailers and advert voice overs before the usual sound comes back.

Thin Ice in Thin Prose

2006-03-14T22:38:00.000Z

Thin Ice is a BBC comedy show. It is on every Tuesday at 10:00 on BBC2 (or you can watch it via the interweb)

It is brilliant. You must watch it. Message ends.

Pressing Engagement

2006-03-13T21:06:00.000Z

Writing press releases today to tell the world about our success at Microsoft. I think I might get one of those green eyeshades like they have in old movies, just to give the prose that proper editorial slant.

Misheard?

2006-03-12T21:19:00.000Z

....well, we had all the dancers wrapped in tinfoil and the rehearsals with the orchestra completed in time for the full moon. But as the werewolves were coming in someone at the back asked "Are you sure they said silver ballet?"

Shopping for Bargains and Shutting off the Power

2006-03-11T21:04:00.000Z

Went up town with number one son today. Which was nice. Although I always seem to spend more when he is around. I'm not quite sure why this is, he protests quite strongly when I start to buy something, and definitely sees himself as the voice of reason in this respect.

But I still end up getting stuff. In this case I bought the game Lumines for the PSP. It is rather impressive in a "tetris on acid" kind of way. It never ceases to surprise me how games manufacturers can come up with different takes on falling blocks that need to be jiggled in some way.

I also found out something about the PSP (and also my stupidity I guess). You can just turn it off. In the middle of a game. Previously I've been carefully exiting my games and then shutting down the power. You know, like you do with the PC. However, just to see what happens I turned the PSP off in the middle of a game. And when I turned it back on again the game was still there. Amazing. I suppose that this is all in the thick little book which came with the device (being a thick big person I never read that of course).

Beyond Your Wildest Imaginings

2006-03-10T23:58:00.000Z

Bad things that happened today: At the celebration meal at TGIF on the way back from the competition I dropped a piece of some chilli stuff off my fork in my bag onto the tablet PC.

Good things that happened today: Everything else. And I mean everything else. We won big. We won the lot. I think I've just slid into an alternative reality where I'm writing the script for a while (but even I wouldn't have dared write down what has happened today). The various Hull teams took over the competition like a really tough bunch of highly trained competition ninjas. Which they sort of were. We ended up with first, second and third place. Amazing. The rest of the world must even as I write this be planning their revenge. Let them try. We can take it. After today we can take anything.

After we had cleaned out Microsoft we went out for our meal where the one bad thing of the day happened. After that it was the smoothest bus ride we have ever had from Reading to Hull. No hold ups, in bed before midnight.

I'm incredibly proud of the students in all the teams. I'm proud of my colleagues who came along to provide mentoring support. Very well done people. I'm fairly sure that real life will be kicking back in soon. If you want to find out more, and see some pictures, take a look here.

Ride a Shiny Bus to a Competition Lifestyle

2006-03-09T23:12:00.000Z

At 11:30 we were on the shiny bus and off to Reading to the Microsoft Imagine Cup Software Design Challenge Final(tm). Just me, Dave, Iain and most of the four winning teams. A very smooth ride down, enlivened by a really naff, but hugely enjoyable, film called "The Longest Yard". This is a remake of "The Mean Machine", a film about an American Football team made up of jailbirds who sign up so that they can beat up the guards but end up learning important life lessons and stuff like that. A hoot.

When we get to our posh hotel we just have time to down a couple of free drinks before being ushered into the dining room to eat a delicious meal (which was curry as the final winner of the UK competition gets to go to India to take on the world - I of course was the last person to spot the significance of this). Then a quiz which, much to our surprise, our table manged to win. After that it was one more free drink and then off to bed.

At least, that was the plan. In fact I spent another hour going through team presentations and then bed. But great fun.

Haberdasher to the stars

2006-03-08T22:12:00.000Z

I'm still working on getting all the Imagine Cup teams sorted. The latest thing is sorting shirts and stuff so that everybody in the team looks spiffy. So from developing posters and desigining presentations I've now switched to choosing shirts.

Good job I'm multi faceted.

Sorry Software

2006-03-07T22:54:00.000Z

There are some things which are guaranteed to drive me into a blinding rage. No really. And one of them is software which says it is sorry. I'm trying to get some tunes out of Napster and into my music player. Everything is right. Except that it won't work. It says "We are sorry, but we could not do this...". It then goes into an explanation which makes no sense and leads to no useful conclusion. I'm used to that bit.

But the way that software now feels the need to say how sorry it is when it fails drives me up the wall. It can't be sorry. It is a machine running a program. OK, a person wrote the program, but they are obviously an idiot (otherwise the program would work). Do I feel better when an idiot (who is probably paid more than me) tells me, via his broken software, that he is sorry. I think not.

Is this supposed to make me feel better? Are there people who do like it when the machine says that for reasons of its own which it is not going to divulge but may well be down to some incompetence somewhere down the line it is sorry that it can't do the required thing. Where are these people? Do they want to buy shares in my oil well, microwave oven that changes lead into gold and perpetual motion machine?

Next thing that will happen is that software will start shifting the blame. "I'm sorry I could not do that, but you did press the keys rather hard just now so I don't feel at all bad about this....".

I think I'll go and have a lie down.

Missing Day

2006-03-06T21:30:00.000Z

Lost a day today. Very busy but I'm not sure just what happened. Most of it was spent mentoring our Imagine Cup student teams which have made it through to the UK final. Out of the 10 finalists from around the country there are 4 that I'm kind of involved with. Three teams are from Hull and the fourth contains a couple of our students.

This is great for the university, and says something about the quality of the people that we have here, but it has meant that instead of doing proper work I've been looking at posters, commenting on presentations and devising marketing strategies all day.

And loving it.

The Cloggs have gone

2006-03-05T17:52:00.000Z

Well, after a frenzied round of bidding the cloggs have been sold. As with a lot of ebay sales, it all happened in around the last ten minutes. We are now looking at everything in the house with a view to it's saleability on ebay....

Embarrassed by Musical Socks

2006-03-04T19:16:00.000Z

I was looking after a question-answer session during our open day today when somebone's mobile phone went off. A silly, reedy, ringtone which sounded like the drinking song.

Turned out to be my socks. I had been given a pair for christmas which play tunes and I'd triggered them when I crossed my legs. It is kind of hard to manage a serious discussion of academic prospects and student finance when your socks are making music.....

I don't remember ordering this...

2006-03-03T23:00:00.000Z

Parked the car in bright sunshine. Wandered outside at half five after a busy day and found:

I don't remember ordering this.

Movie Mogul?

2006-03-02T22:36:00.000Z

Whilst going upstairs just now I was seized by the idea of making a movie with the title "Undersea Chins from Space". I wonder if I have been working too hard.

Update: Actually I think it comes from playing "We Love Katamari" too much. Plenty of chins there. Oh yes.

Here Comes the Judge

2006-03-01T23:04:00.000Z

Got to be a judge today. At Hull we have a Young Scientist of the Year competition and we were selecting the finalists. All of them had to give a stand up presentation and then handle some questions. A pretty scary ask for someone under 16. And they were all great. Made the judgely thing really hard for us, since I found out quite early that we weren't allowed to pick everyone.

In the end we narrowed it down to the three from each category who get to go to the final in a couple of weeks. Sometimes I worry about the future, what with global warming, bird flu, energy crisis, asteroid strikes etc etc. And then I see all these keen people who are really into science and I get a lot happier. I reckon that they'll be able to handle whatever is coming down the tracks.

Happy Day

2006-02-28T22:20:00.000Z

Well, it was for me...

Sticky Thoughts and Roman Tragedies

2006-02-27T20:07:00.000Z

Sometimes I get a thought and it sticks in my head and won't go away untill I've written it down in the blog. We were discussing paper sizes and I got to thinking about Caesar and his famous discussion about the dimensions of the posters they wanted to put around the colloseum, and how all that went horribly wrong when Caesar turned to his most trusted friend and said "A2 Brutus?".

Clog Buyers of the World Unite

2006-02-26T21:00:00.000Z

Went round to see dad today. He is making his first forays into e-commerce, what with a new broadband connection and his first ebay auction lot.

Go on. You know you want them....

Skating on Thin Ice

2006-02-25T22:34:00.000Z

For some reason we have ended up watching chunks of "Dancing on Ice", an ITV "light entertainment" progamme where "celebs" (shudder) are teamed up with hapless ice dancing professionals who then try to give them 20 years of experience of the craft into a few days, and then go out onto the cruel, hard, cold surface to be thrown about whilst razor sharp skates whizz past inches from their heads.

Like I said, light entertainment. Tonight David Seaman, a goalkeeper with some 25 years experience in professional football, was throwing his second partner up into the air with not entirely successful results.

This worries me. I'm sure that everyone is very professional and safety is taken pretty seriously. But where will it end? We will have celebs doing even more dangerous things with even less training? How about nuclear reactor dismantling? Or "pro-celeb traffic cone placement"? Or base jumping, where Danny from HearSay is given a parachute and a map of London landmarks and sent off with a film crew to persuade the public to vote for him.

Madness I tell you.

..and you pet iguana has been pining for you

2006-02-24T21:28:00.000Z

Number one daughter is here to see us for the weekend. We picked her up from the station. I had this plan where we'd take her back to a completely different house in a totally different part of town and say things like "It's great to have you back. Your pet iguana has been pining for you."

Unfortunately we didn't get around to this. And we don't know anyone with an iguana who'd let us borrow their house.

But it is nice to see her.

Healthy Thinking and Wise Words

2006-02-23T19:59:00.000Z

I had the makings of a horrible cold yesterday. I could feel the germs taking residence around various bits of my anatomy and digging in for the long haul.

Then today I feel fine. Very strange. I did have strong word yeserday with my body about how I couldn't afford to be ill just right now and so it must repel all borders, but I wasn't sure it would do any good. It seems to have worked though. Perhaps there is something in this mind over matter business after all.

Previously my experience with Mind over Matter has been restricted to an exchange with my father many years ago when I was going on to him at length about some horrible misfortune that I thought I had just suffered. "You see", he said, with the voice of one about to impart great wisdom (which I later learned was a warning sign) "It is all a question of 'Mind over Matter'".

"Why is that?" I asked, distracted from my moaning for a minute

"Well, I don't mind so it doesn't matter" he responded, and then retreated back behind his newspaper.

Thanks dad.

Finding the Happy Path

2006-02-22T20:49:00.000Z

Had a whole bunch of students to see me over today. We are setting up our entries for the Imagine Cup, a Microsoft programming competition we've been quite good at in the past. I've had all kinds of ideas pitched to me and seen a whole bunch of people keen to take part. Great stuff. I love this part of my job.

One of the things that is required from entrants is a "Happy Path" program which demonstrates the gist of the idea. This is the system as it would appear with everything working as it should, a kind of technology demo. It was nice to see some of the first year teams, with not a lot of programming experience under their belts going "Oh yes, we're up for that" and setting to designing their applications.

The entries go in next week, then we have to wait and see what the judges think of them.

Three Tin Tea. And an apology

2006-02-21T21:35:00.000Z

Had a three tin tea tonight. Tinned meat pie, tinned curried baked beans and tinned potatoes. And all opened with the old tin opener. I'm practicing for the new ice age/flood/drought/global warming/nuclear winter thingy which is apparently just around the corner.

And I feel I must apologize to my reader about the low tone of my post yesterday. It has occurred to me that everybody else blows their nose at appropriate times (probably on cute little embroidered handkerchiefs which they then have incinerated so that they always have nice new ones). As opposed to people like me who can never find a tissue when they need to.

Perhaps I have a talent for lowering the tone. We were talking in the tea room about mind control. As one does. Warren said that he had heard "they" (whoever "they" are) now have a machine that they can point at your head and it makes you happy. "That's nothing" I said. "I can make a whole bunch of people happy just by leaving a room". Nobody laughed. Instead they just pointed at the door......

Update: Actually, they did laugh really. But they did point at the door too. Oh well.

Snot Ettiquette

2006-02-20T20:06:00.000Z

I was sitting in my office this afternoon talking with David when he said something mildly funny. The shock of this made me snort slightly and a huge lump of stuff flew out of my nose and landed on my shirt. I think I may have a bit of a cold coming on. I just continued as if nothing had happened, and hoped that David would not mention it. Which he didn't, being a polite sort.

Now, the question is, what is the correct procedure when this happens? (and I'm sure that it has happened to you all).

The Eternal Question

2006-02-19T21:03:00.000Z

If you used some paint the colour of faded paint what colour would it go when it faded?

All you can eat in York

2006-02-18T20:54:00.000Z

Went to York today for a little trip. Took the tiny camera:

This is the York city wall. Built quite a long time ago, but still in good nick.
Here's a tip, if you find yourself peckish in York, head for Jumbos in George Hudson street. It is just over the bridge, near Argos. They do a Chinese all you can eat menu for just under a fiver. The range of dishes is fantastic, as is the quality.

If it can go wrong...

2006-02-17T20:31:00.000Z

Did a lecture with the first years today. Progamming II. I swapped with John because his voice is in the process of shutting down with one of the many nasty colds which is going around at the moment.

"No problem" I said breezily. "I'll do that for you, easy peasy". Somebody upstairs must have heard me. The same somebody who then made my tablet PC stick in portriat mode (i.e. on it's side) when I hooked it up to the projector. The same somebody who tampered with the wiring in my brain to make thoughts not work and come out wrong and generally respond badly when other things tipped over. If I had made any rash bets involving clothing (fortunately this time I kept my big mouth shut on that one) I would have left the place stark naked.

Sorry folks, I'll try to be a bit more prepared next time. Although it did all work at the end.

The one bit of brightness on the horizon was how keen that the students are to take place in the Imagine Cup this year. It looks like we will be sending a goodly number of project proposals down to Microsoft in Reading for entry into the UK finals which is great. One or two of them look like real winners too. Fingers crossed and all that.

Keen Powered

2006-02-16T22:41:00.000Z

We had another open day today. I did my warm up routine and it seemed to go OK, although perhaps next time I won't introduce it with the shouted line "OK you lot, now it is time for the boring bit...".

Had some good conversations with the people thinking of coming to Hull. A lot of them were very keen to get into games programming. We've told them that it is hard work and it is by no means guaranteed that they will get rich, but still they come. I think it is for the joy of doing the stuff and also for the chance to see your name on the credits of a game. Fine by me, I love working with people who are keen to create software.

Wacky Day

2006-02-15T21:36:00.000Z

Some days are just wacky. Today was. It was supposed to be mostly normal, but it didn't seem to quite end up like that. The department was greatly enlivened by the arrival of a bunch of students from Korea, who had come to see what we do in the gaming department. I gave them a talk about Smartphone game programming which was quite fun (by that I mean that I enjoyed giving it - and I hope that the audience enjoyed it too).

At one point the program failed and I made one of my stupid statements as in: "If it doesn't work this time I'm taking my tie off". Of course, it failed, so off came the tie to much amusement. I then added that if it failed to run again my shirt was coming off next. This was greeted with much less amusement, and no small amout of fear. Fortunately for all concerned, the program ran fine from then on. I then put my tie back on and we went outside for some photographs...

Wallet Full of Hearts

2006-02-14T22:57:00.000Z

We went out for our romantic dinner tonight. The place we go, which is really nice, marks the day by covering the tables with lots of tiny, shiny, hearts and stars. Which we hoover up and put into our wallet and purse. This means that for the next six months, whenever I pay for something the cashier is treated to a little happy, shower. Which is quite romantic I suppose.

Fighting with Tins

2006-02-13T20:59:00.000Z

I've never been keen on false economy. (actually I've never been keen on any kind of economy, but that is by the by). Therefore I'm not sure what it was that made me buy a cheap tin opener. Perhaps I hoped I could use the money saved to buy some gadget or other. Anyhoo, it was a bad move. Fighting your way into a Fray Bentos tinned meat pie with the apology for an opener that we ended up stuck with is just the kind of thing that you don't want to do after a hard day at the office.

Perhap I'm being unfair to the device. Perhaps when it was new, all those years ago, it was actally able to do what its name implies. But now it doesn't. What it does do is extract swear words and blood in equal measures whilst scratching the paint on the pie tin a bit.

So next time I'm in a position to get one I'm going to get the finest and poshest opener that money can buy. Which is a gadget of sorts I suppose.

Acquiring Culture

2006-02-12T22:09:00.000Z

It has always been a bit of a surprise in our family that I turned out such a philistine. Coming from an artistic background it was expected that I would be a great musician, painter or something. The fact that the only thing I'm vaguely good at is programming computers was a bit of a let down. Fortunately this seems to only have been a slight hiccup in the genetic progression, and some members of the family have managed to pick up some of the cultural genes.

Hence my attendance at the York Student Orchestra this evening. (which was jolly good by the way). Whatever my limitations, I love the sound of an orchestra going at full steam ahead. They sounded great.

Weapon of Choice

2006-02-11T15:36:00.000Z

Went to see number one son in Durham today. He had been down at Tesco buying small foam arms. They sit around the telly shooting at things. Apparently Elvis used to do the same kind of thing. Me being me, it was off down to Tesco.....

Jolly good too, but I still can't hit the lampshades like number one son can. More practice beckons....

Stretch Your Mental Muscles

2006-02-10T22:46:00.000Z

I've set up a few fun puzzles on one of my many other sites. If you can solve any of them (or get a brainy person to solve them for you) send in your answer for a free certificate. And maybe even a T shirt.

Digby Does the Business

2006-02-09T16:23:00.000Z

A second school talk. This time I took the proper camera so that I could get a half way decent picture (I also turned the lights on, which makes a big difference). At the end of my talks I get out Digby the robot dog and turn him loose. Sometimes he is a bit reserved and doesn't do much, but yesterday and today he really did the business, finding and kicking the ball like a very good dog indeed.

Everyone seems to like Digby, I think he will be asking for top billing soon.

kids

2006-02-08T20:00:00.000Z

These are the kids at my schools talk. Sorry if the picture is a bit blurred, my phone camera doesn't like the dark much. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed the talk.

Bringing you the news bright and early

2006-02-08T08:47:00.000Z

I was up bright and early this morning in order to further my media career. Years ago I used to go into the local radion station and review the morning papers. I sort of fell out of the habit, but I've decided to start up again. So it was up at 6:25 to get to the studio by 7:00 am (I'd hate to do this for a living). Then a quick trawl through the news for stuff of interest (and hopefully find something a bit technical). Then in front of the microphone for five minutes.

Great fun. They let me take pictures of the controls too:

So many buttons, and no tape in sight.

I really like our City Hall.

Not sure about our big telly though (although Project Gotham Racing would look awesome on it).

Union Elections; practicals for Politics Students....