The Crazy World (tm) of Rob Miles

Friday, May 27, 2005

The Force is Strong in This One

A long time ago in a Galaxy Far Away (tm) a bloke called George made a nice little film. It was self contained, had special effects that were way ahead of its time and a really good orchestral score. And he kept all the merchandising rights. The film was a big, big, big success. And so George set about making the enterprise into a franchise, making out like it was always meant to be that way. And like a kid caught out on a big lie, he made bigger and bolder lies to try and cover himself.

George: "This is really one of nine films you know"
Audience: "No way"
George: "Way. And you know Luke's love interest?"
Audience: "Yeah, that Princess with the funny hair"
George: "She's really his sister."
Audience: "No way. You'll be telling us next that Darth is Luke's dad.."
George: "Hmm..... Do you like teddy bears?"

..and so on. Actually George did two clever things after Star Wars 1 (or is it 4), sell a lot of plastic toys and make the thing into a soap opera. And so now we come to "Star Wars 3, The Revenge of the Sith". My expectations were pretty low. And they were confounded quite a bit. The film was great (although it did make the person behind me burst into tears at the end).

The acting was a bit wooden and there was a whole lot too much going on. All the poignant bits between Annakin and his wife were played out to a background of zillions of spaceships going aimlessly back and forth, like a love scene being played out in front of the M1 motorway. Even the final death bed scene of the princess (hope I'm not giving too much away here folks) had a pointless flashing blue light in the background. Why a flashing light? And why blue?

All the fight scenes were huge, as if George had watched the Lord of the Rings and said to the production team "I want all three episodes worth in one two minute sequence". But the film was still good. And considering the origins of the story, it actually held together pretty well.

If nothing else the film proves that the shopping centres in the UK that have banned people wearing hooded sweatshirts are definitely on to something. At the beginning of the film Annakin is hoodless and happy, trading quips with his jedi master as he battles evil. By the end he is deeply hooded, just like his nasty boss. And his eyes light up too, which is always a bad thing.

In short, if you want an uplifting experience with snappy dialogue and a light romantic nature, then don't go and see this film. If you want to see how it all ends/starts then it is definitely worth a trip.

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