Driving Hell

Drove back home today. I say drove. More like crawled. Suffice it to say that the M1 was not kind to us. Why do other people have to use the roads when I want to? No fair. It is not as if I do a lot of driving. Perhaps infrequent drivers like me could be given a special pass which lets us use the inside lane (or all of them) at any time and force BMW drivers off the road. And they should put some special hardware into lorries so that when one doing 60.000001 mph decides to overtake one doing 60.0 mph the engine promptly explodes or the steering jams hard left causing both of the stupid things to hurtle off the motorway and smash into the nearest solid object, leaving the way clear for me stuck behind them. And those speed limit signs are a waste of time too. There are few things more annoying than being sat stationary for 20 minutes underneath a sign saying "maximum speed limit 60".