So. Are you a panther?

Got an Orange brochure today. I pick these up as a way of keeping track of what is happening in the mobile phone business (Orange are a mobile phone provider in the UK) . Orange have changed the way they describe their service plans. In the old days they use to have "light user", "heavy user", "business user" and the like. But that was too simple. Now they have Dolphins, Raccoons, Canaries and Panthers. What tosh.

As far as I can remember, raccoons are those nasty furry things that raid your dustbins and bite you. And as for how a dolphin can even hold a mobile phone, let alone dial a number, that is completely beyond me.

The thing that really gets up my nose is the fact that a bunch of "creative" types will have been paid a huge sum of money to come up with this rubbish. I can imagine the meeting:

Creative Drone 1: "What about a stoat?"
Creative Drone 2: "How so?"
Creative Drone 1:" Doesn't use the text much, but enjoys rabbiting"
Creative Drone 2:"Probably not the image we are looking for"
Creative Drone 1:"Elephant?"
Creative Drone 2"Go on"
Creative Drone1:"Doesn't need a phone with a very large memory"
..and so on. All at five hundred pounds an hour.

As a little test, here is the description of the plan, all you have to do is tell me which animal it is:

"If you want no-nonsense basics and see your phone as a tool not a toy, **** is for you."

So, what is it?