Always Leave Them Wanting More

The lecture has been and gone.

There are some pictures somewhere. And a video. Everyone enjoyed themselves, including the lady from the quality audit team, who put a fiver into the the bucket.

Hurrah for me!

Hurrah!

Finished most of the text. Even found some clip art off the web. Now just got to decide what to wear for the gig. That red jacket is a definite...

I quite like cheese....

Working on the final presentation now. Horay for clip art.

There are loads of pictures of cheese out there which is nice. There is even a web site (which shall be nameless but is rather easy to guess) where you can submit your own cheese photographs (shudder).

Reminds me of the old joke:

First bloke: I quite like cheese
Second bloke: So do I
First bloke: You should come round and see my collection of photographs, I've got hundreds..

Other People's Rap

Writing rap today. Visit redlyrics for inspiration. Wow. Some of these people ought to get out more. Or perhaps less.

More complicated than I thought. Wonder somewhat nervously what it will sound like without the usual "dustbin full of hammers being pushed down a concrete staircase by a man in a corrugated iron suit playing the swanee whistle backwards" backing track. Consider obtaining some "wheels of steel". Then remember that all the wheels on my car are steel, but don't feel any further forward in the matter.

Glug

Two stark choices are mine:

1. Write some more lines of breathtaking rhyme
2. Unblock the kitchen sink

Explain to family the importance of art, role of the poet in society and the need for a more cultural lifestyle for us all. Mention fact that I didn't block it and anyway it looks a bit like a Tracy Emin or Damien Hurst.

Then go fetch plunger....

Sabotage

We have just hit a major problem which may seriously impact on the successful delivery of the lecture in rhyme. It is called "Babylon 5 Series 1 on DVD". Several courses of action are open to me:

• Watch the entire series (22 episodes) and then write the lecture a week after I give it (only possible with Time Travel and Stasis technology presently unavailable from Dixons)
  
• Don't watch the series, but write some poetry instead (only possible with willpower presently unavailable to the author - all available power presently directed at giving up chocolate for lent...)
  
• Institute some form of positive feedback/reward system - perhaps something like watching one episode per completed verse (currently finding favour with higher brain functions - although the temporal calculation division have pointed out flaws in this plan).
  

Only time will tell.

Live Content

I have decided that I am going to add live content to the web page for the lecture.

This is for three reasons: it gives value added entertainment to the pages themselves, it gives me direct experience of the ASP .NET technology and I find it much easier to write programs than poetry.

My first ASP .NET pages are even as we speak visible to the whole wide world.

I'll get them going again and post the links here later.

I just hope there aren't too many bugs in them...

Microsoft Are Coming

Very pleased to find out that Microsoft are coming to the lecture. Even more pleased to find out that they are bringing some stuff to auction.

However, am still deeply afraid of attending auctions since the "nervous twitch and antique welsh dresser" incident in York Sale Rooms all those years ago.

Tough Under Pressure

Getting really worried about completing the poems in time.

Tried talking to the trees for inspiration. Things turned nasty when a Horse Chestnut was rude about some of my rhymes for gorgonzola. Stupid trees. Resolve to borrow a chain saw and settle a few "artistic differences".

Displacement Activity

Displacement Activity: Phrase describing work performed in lieu of task that is really the thing you should be doing. Common examples include re-arranging windows desktop, emptying Recycle Bin and writing a Blog instead of poetry.

erp.

The Restlessness of Youth

The students are becoming restless. They want me to use different rhyme styles. This is a problem. I only know two styles, not very good and rap.

I don't think that "Slipknot style" is actually formulated anywhere in terms of metre and scansion. And what on earth is dub? Perhaps I should offer to have my hair coloured red and have done with it.

Day of Rest

Sunday is the official day of rest. So I shall.

Wisconsin Cheese Conference

Ah. The weekend. Or as the French call it: "le weekend". Try to do more work on the poetry but am fixated by the thought of the Wisconsin cheese industry conference. What would they talk about? Return to the internet and find that I can get a "tabletop" booth at the conference for a mere 99 dollars.

Quote: "It’s an excellent opportunity to share your expertise with hundreds of cheese manufacturers."

It is worse than I thought. There are hundreds of them.