Would this work?

Proposed email to all academic staff:

The sergeant looked down at the clipboard in his hands. Ahead of him stretched a line of people, desparation showing in their eyes as they waited for their chance to plead for the last few places in the sole remaining star transporter that would soon be leaving forever the doomed planet earth.

"And why do you thing you should be allowed to escape certain death?" he asked the nervous figure in front of him.

"Er, well, when Rob Miles asked for my preference for lab. demonstrators for the new semester timetable I gave him the information straight away" came the trembling response.

"Good enough for me" replied the sergeant, standing aside and allowing one more person through to salvation.

So give me the information please folks, you never know when it might come in handy...