Happy Day

Well, it was for me...

Sticky Thoughts and Roman Tragedies

Sometimes I get a thought and it sticks in my head and won't go away untill I've written it down in the blog. We were discussing paper sizes and I got to thinking about Caesar and his famous discussion about the dimensions of the posters they wanted to put around the colloseum, and how all that went horribly wrong when Caesar turned to his most trusted friend and said "A2 Brutus?".

Clog Buyers of the World Unite

Went round to see dad today. He is making his first forays into e-commerce, what with a new broadband connection and his first ebay auction lot.

Go on. You know you want them....

Skating on Thin Ice

For some reason we have ended up watching chunks of "Dancing on Ice", an ITV "light entertainment" progamme where "celebs" (shudder) are teamed up with hapless ice dancing professionals who then try to give them 20 years of experience of the craft into a few days, and then go out onto the cruel, hard, cold surface to be thrown about whilst razor sharp skates whizz past inches from their heads.

Like I said, light entertainment. Tonight David Seaman, a goalkeeper with some 25 years experience in professional football, was throwing his second partner up into the air with not entirely successful results.

This worries me. I'm sure that everyone is very professional and safety is taken pretty seriously. But where will it end? We will have celebs doing even more dangerous things with even less training? How about nuclear reactor dismantling? Or "pro-celeb traffic cone placement"? Or base jumping, where Danny from HearSay is given a parachute and a map of London landmarks and sent off with a film crew to persuade the public to vote for him.

Madness I tell you.

..and you pet iguana has been pining for you

Number one daughter is here to see us for the weekend. We picked her up from the station. I had this plan where we'd take her back to a completely different house in a totally different part of town and say things like "It's great to have you back. Your pet iguana has been pining for you."

Unfortunately we didn't get around to this. And we don't know anyone with an iguana who'd let us borrow their house.

But it is nice to see her.

Healthy Thinking and Wise Words

I had the makings of a horrible cold yesterday. I could feel the germs taking residence around various bits of my anatomy and digging in for the long haul.

Then today I feel fine. Very strange. I did have strong word yeserday with my body about how I couldn't afford to be ill just right now and so it must repel all borders, but I wasn't sure it would do any good. It seems to have worked though. Perhaps there is something in this mind over matter business after all.

Previously my experience with Mind over Matter has been restricted to an exchange with my father many years ago when I was going on to him at length about some horrible misfortune that I thought I had just suffered. "You see", he said, with the voice of one about to impart great wisdom (which I later learned was a warning sign) "It is all a question of 'Mind over Matter'".

"Why is that?" I asked, distracted from my moaning for a minute

"Well, I don't mind so it doesn't matter" he responded, and then retreated back behind his newspaper.

Thanks dad.

Finding the Happy Path

Had a whole bunch of students to see me over today. We are setting up our entries for the Imagine Cup, a Microsoft programming competition we've been quite good at in the past. I've had all kinds of ideas pitched to me and seen a whole bunch of people keen to take part. Great stuff. I love this part of my job.

One of the things that is required from entrants is a "Happy Path" program which demonstrates the gist of the idea. This is the system as it would appear with everything working as it should, a kind of technology demo. It was nice to see some of the first year teams, with not a lot of programming experience under their belts going "Oh yes, we're up for that" and setting to designing their applications.

The entries go in next week, then we have to wait and see what the judges think of them.

Three Tin Tea. And an apology

Had a three tin tea tonight. Tinned meat pie, tinned curried baked beans and tinned potatoes. And all opened with the old tin opener. I'm practicing for the new ice age/flood/drought/global warming/nuclear winter thingy which is apparently just around the corner.

And I feel I must apologize to my reader about the low tone of my post yesterday. It has occurred to me that everybody else blows their nose at appropriate times (probably on cute little embroidered handkerchiefs which they then have incinerated so that they always have nice new ones). As opposed to people like me who can never find a tissue when they need to.

Perhaps I have a talent for lowering the tone. We were talking in the tea room about mind control. As one does. Warren said that he had heard "they" (whoever "they" are) now have a machine that they can point at your head and it makes you happy. "That's nothing" I said. "I can make a whole bunch of people happy just by leaving a room". Nobody laughed. Instead they just pointed at the door......

Update: Actually, they did laugh really. But they did point at the door too. Oh well.

Snot Ettiquette

I was sitting in my office this afternoon talking with David when he said something mildly funny. The shock of this made me snort slightly and a huge lump of stuff flew out of my nose and landed on my shirt. I think I may have a bit of a cold coming on. I just continued as if nothing had happened, and hoped that David would not mention it. Which he didn't, being a polite sort.

Now, the question is, what is the correct procedure when this happens? (and I'm sure that it has happened to you all).

The Eternal Question

If you used some paint the colour of faded paint what colour would it go when it faded?

All you can eat in York

Went to York today for a little trip. Took the tiny camera:


This is the York city wall. Built quite a long time ago, but still in good nick.
Here's a tip, if you find yourself peckish in York, head for Jumbos in George Hudson street. It is just over the bridge, near Argos. They do a Chinese all you can eat menu for just under a fiver. The range of dishes is fantastic, as is the quality.

If it can go wrong...

Did a lecture with the first years today. Progamming II. I swapped with John because his voice is in the process of shutting down with one of the many nasty colds which is going around at the moment.

"No problem" I said breezily. "I'll do that for you, easy peasy". Somebody upstairs must have heard me. The same somebody who then made my tablet PC stick in portriat mode (i.e. on it's side) when I hooked it up to the projector. The same somebody who tampered with the wiring in my brain to make thoughts not work and come out wrong and generally respond badly when other things tipped over. If I had made any rash bets involving clothing (fortunately this time I kept my big mouth shut on that one) I would have left the place stark naked.

Sorry folks, I'll try to be a bit more prepared next time. Although it did all work at the end.

The one bit of brightness on the horizon was how keen that the students are to take place in the Imagine Cup this year. It looks like we will be sending a goodly number of project proposals down to Microsoft in Reading for entry into the UK finals which is great. One or two of them look like real winners too. Fingers crossed and all that.

Keen Powered

We had another open day today. I did my warm up routine and it seemed to go OK, although perhaps next time I won't introduce it with the shouted line "OK you lot, now it is time for the boring bit...".

Had some good conversations with the people thinking of coming to Hull. A lot of them were very keen to get into games programming. We've told them that it is hard work and it is by no means guaranteed that they will get rich, but still they come. I think it is for the joy of doing the stuff and also for the chance to see your name on the credits of a game. Fine by me, I love working with people who are keen to create software.

Wacky Day

Some days are just wacky. Today was. It was supposed to be mostly normal, but it didn't seem to quite end up like that. The department was greatly enlivened by the arrival of a bunch of students from Korea, who had come to see what we do in the gaming department. I gave them a talk about Smartphone game programming which was quite fun (by that I mean that I enjoyed giving it - and I hope that the audience enjoyed it too).

At one point the program failed and I made one of my stupid statements as in: "If it doesn't work this time I'm taking my tie off". Of course, it failed, so off came the tie to much amusement. I then added that if it failed to run again my shirt was coming off next. This was greeted with much less amusement, and no small amout of fear. Fortunately for all concerned, the program ran fine from then on. I then put my tie back on and we went outside for some photographs...

Wallet Full of Hearts

We went out for our romantic dinner tonight. The place we go, which is really nice, marks the day by covering the tables with lots of tiny, shiny, hearts and stars. Which we hoover up and put into our wallet and purse. This means that for the next six months, whenever I pay for something the cashier is treated to a little happy, shower. Which is quite romantic I suppose.

Fighting with Tins

I've never been keen on false economy. (actually I've never been keen on any kind of economy, but that is by the by). Therefore I'm not sure what it was that made me buy a cheap tin opener. Perhaps I hoped I could use the money saved to buy some gadget or other. Anyhoo, it was a bad move. Fighting your way into a Fray Bentos tinned meat pie with the apology for an opener that we ended up stuck with is just the kind of thing that you don't want to do after a hard day at the office.

Perhap I'm being unfair to the device. Perhaps when it was new, all those years ago, it was actally able to do what its name implies. But now it doesn't. What it does do is extract swear words and blood in equal measures whilst scratching the paint on the pie tin a bit.

So next time I'm in a position to get one I'm going to get the finest and poshest opener that money can buy. Which is a gadget of sorts I suppose.

Acquiring Culture

It has always been a bit of a surprise in our family that I turned out such a philistine. Coming from an artistic background it was expected that I would be a great musician, painter or something. The fact that the only thing I'm vaguely good at is programming computers was a bit of a let down. Fortunately this seems to only have been a slight hiccup in the genetic progression, and some members of the family have managed to pick up some of the cultural genes.

Hence my attendance at the York Student Orchestra this evening. (which was jolly good by the way). Whatever my limitations, I love the sound of an orchestra going at full steam ahead. They sounded great.

Weapon of Choice

Went to see number one son in Durham today. He had been down at Tesco buying small foam arms. They sit around the telly shooting at things. Apparently Elvis used to do the same kind of thing. Me being me, it was off down to Tesco.....

Jolly good too, but I still can't hit the lampshades like number one son can. More practice beckons....

Stretch Your Mental Muscles

I've set up a few fun puzzles on one of my many other sites. If you can solve any of them (or get a brainy person to solve them for you) send in your answer for a free certificate. And maybe even a T shirt.

Digby Does the Business

A second school talk. This time I took the proper camera so that I could get a half way decent picture (I also turned the lights on, which makes a big difference). At the end of my talks I get out Digby the robot dog and turn him loose. Sometimes he is a bit reserved and doesn't do much, but yesterday and today he really did the business, finding and kicking the ball like a very good dog indeed.

Everyone seems to like Digby, I think he will be asking for top billing soon.

kids

These are the kids at my schools talk. Sorry if the picture is a bit blurred, my phone camera doesn't like the dark much. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed the talk.

Bringing you the news bright and early

I was up bright and early this morning in order to further my media career. Years ago I used to go into the local radion station and review the morning papers. I sort of fell out of the habit, but I've decided to start up again. So it was up at 6:25 to get to the studio by 7:00 am (I'd hate to do this for a living). Then a quick trawl through the news for stuff of interest (and hopefully find something a bit technical). Then in front of the microphone for five minutes.

Great fun. They let me take pictures of the controls too:



So many buttons, and no tape in sight.


I really like our City Hall.



Not sure about our big telly though (although Project Gotham Racing would look awesome on it).



Union Elections; practicals for Politics Students....

Fate will get you in the end

Dentist today. All geared up for horrible mouth mechanics. In the end I got away scott free. Even though the dread term "..for your age" (as in "You've got quite good teeth..for your age") appeared in the conversation.

I was pondering on how lightly I'd got off, and how having my teeth cleaned with an angle grinder (I think that is what she used) was the worst thing that would happen to me today, when on the way to the house I dropped my mobile phone. Now, the thing was in a case, and it is a good case, but there is now a teeny tiny scratch which only I can see on the very corner of the phone.

Being the obsessive person that I am this is bothering me no end. The device looks fine, you have to really look for the mark (and I mean really). But it still bugs me. I've not had the thing for a week yet, and already I've made it more broken than the last three phones that I've had.

I think I probably need some beer therapy or something to get me into a more sensible and balanced frame of mind.

Six Eyes and All Useless

I must be getting older. My eyes are becomming as useful as my ears when it comes to seeing stuff. Last year I went for the dreaded vari-focals. These are great as glasses which I can wear for day to day stuff, but they are pretty useless when sitting staring at a computer screen. The only bit that is in focus is the tiny area at the bottom of the lens, which means that I appear to be staring at the wall as I try vainly to make out what is on the screen in front of me.

I've been reduced to using my original old close up glasses at work, which have frames like the ones that Harry Potter wore in the first film. It is fun to watch people recoil when they enter my office and I turn round to face them..... Of course I can't actually see them do this, because everything more than three feet away from me is a meaningless blur when I've got the glasses on, but I'm pretty sure that is what they are doing from the sounds that they make.

Sunday Punday

I'm thinking of writing a bestseller about a fish which was originally discovered by a famous renaissance artist. I'm going to call it "The Da-Vinci Cod".

Oh, and if the devil was in the bedlinen business, would he make satan sheets?

Me and my big mouth. Again

Just a few weeks after betting the entire first year a million pounds each on the run of a program and losing I find myself doing the same kind of stupid thing again.

I was giving out copies of my wonderful C# notes (known in the department as the "Yellow Book" for reasons which become very obvious when you see a copy). In a rash moment I said that I paid a standard rate of a bottle of beer for every error that people found. This is kind of true, and usually a very cheap way of employing proof readers.

Of course, the next thing that happened was that someone found a typing mistake. But not just anyone, a charming young daughter of one of the visitors. Who was way to young for a bottle of Budweiser. I think we will send her a T shirt instead.

I'm now off to write "I must keep my stupid mouth shut" 100 times.

Open Day Audience (or at least some of them)

This was taken as people arrived for my open day talk Apologies if you were there but aren't on the photograph. I was very keen to test my new phone and so I took the picture before everyone arrived.

..or the Ewok gets it

My chum Rory, who is as mad as a mad thing from the mad part of Madchester, is presently trying some interesting promotional techniques in an attempt to boost traffic to his TinyThings site. Normally, as a serious professional who sees himself as having responsibility to act as a role model for all in maters of taste, decorum and good behaviour, I would frown on such wanton acts.

But since he actually talked to me in a couple of the podcasts, I'm all for it.

And I've never liked ewoks anyway.

Even Obviousor

Supersleuth assistant, to Prof. Hood in dodgy ITV drama Eleventh Hour just now.

"He must have done that before he killed himself"

State of the Obvious

Is it me, or is there a bit of a rash of "Well Duh.." telly at the moment. Programs where earnest and worried looking presenters are pictured in moody poses telling us things like alcohol makes you drunk and do daft things, or that smoking cigarettes might not actually be the healthy, lifegiving, pastime that the cigarette advertisers once made lots of people believe. Even as I write this I can imagine producers pitching programs about the blueness of the sky, or the whole truth about what bears do in the woods.

Anyhoo, last night it was the turn of all householders. The BBC spent some of our hard earned licence money on a bunch of houses in the North East and then proceeded to do dangerous things to them to see what happens. This is presumably for those viewers out there who have not figured out that leaving the bathtap running, starting a fire in the front room, living in a hurricane zone or, and most memorably, filling the house with gas and then lighting the boiler, may lead to structural problems with your building.

The first example of domestic mishap, the "bath through the ceiling" was a bit contrived in my opinion. It turns out that if you have a huge cast iron bath with no overflow in a bathroom from which the supporting wall underneath has been removed, a production assistant has sawn through some of your joists and then you leave the taps on with the plug in, you can look forward to a finding a new meaning to "en suite". The video was very impressive I must say.

The second one was actually deeply scary. Your nice, shiny, nylon packed house can be a toxic smoke filled inferno in around 5 minutes. Moral: Leave the bedroom doors closed at night and get a smoke alarm. Oh, and don't leave candles burning round the bath overnight.

The third one was just plain daft. The premise was that in a hurricane things get blown about a bit, although the most dramatic moment looked to me as if the producer had got bored and just chucked a dustbin through the window at the end to make it more interesting.

The finale though was most impressive though. A house full of gas goes, quite literally, like a bomb. We got lots of angles of stuff being blown up into the air. Great, and I'm sure very educational.

From a public service point of view I suppose the thing had value. I went round three times turning everything off before I went upstairs, instad of the usual twice. However, at three in the morning, having been lying awake worrying about all the potential horrors that could befall me in my little house, I managed to get to sleep by rationalising that if a fire did break out downstairs, it would at least get put out by the bath full of water which would then fall down onto it.

Thrill Seeking

To show that I am a fast moving, devil may care, live life to the limit kind of guy today I took my own sandwiches to eat in the cafe at a motorway service station.

Mind you, I did buy my drink there though.