My Name Is......

Just got an email from a bloke called Rob Miles. And it wasn't me talking to myself (although I plan to continue doing this). He is based in the 'states somewhere and has at site of his own which is worth a look.

I'm making a few cosmetic changes to the site and I'll be adding some more material quite soon (although at the moment I'm spending most of my evenings coding). I've bought another domain name (kind of sad but there you go). Stay tuned for news of even more wit and wonder. I've been looking for a place to put all the stuff that gets left out (example - "I'm going to eat some Beef Jerky and try and keep still"). You might find it useful as a place to avoid.

Iceberg Moment

Been writing some more code tonight. We're heading towards what I call the "iceberg moment" in the project; the point where you find out just how much work there is underneath the bit you can see sticking out of the water. In my experience,no matter how hard you plan and spec. the work, you still end up finding out there is a lot more submerged than you expected. In the really nasty projects you can have several such moments in succession as the customer slowly reveals the depths of their requirements. You learn to listen for throwaway remarks in meetings like "..and of course we need to timestamp all the entries..." which tend to come at the end and can lead to horrid amounts of extra work.

My solution (which has saved me in the past but is not infallible I'm afraid):

• assume nothing. If you must assume things, test the assumptions and write down what they meanconsider everything in the light of how it could fail, and make sure this is in the spec too
• use loads of prototypes (but dpn't make them work and be prepared to throw them away once you have got the spec. from them)
• specify everything down to the colour of the buttons
• make the customer sign the spec. and make sure they know what signing up means (and how much it will cost them to change the spec. and add things).
• put into place a system which makes sure you get paid
• use a system which works for you, and ignore people who tell you that you should work in their way (except me of course)

Of course none of this is guaranteed, but you should be proof against most of the really nasty possibilities if you consider these points. And remember to be lucky - that always helps.

Plastic Pleasures

Been re-living the joys of vinyl. I got my old record deck down from the loft to record an single for a friend and thought I'd MP3ify a whole bunch of old records. I'm engaging in scratchy time travel and trying to figure out when I last listened to some of this stuff. Particularly pleased that I've found my old copy of "The Nightfly" by Donald Fagan. Quality. If you've not heard it - you are missing out. I think you can even get it on posh CD these days, but my record sounds just fine to me. Later I might try to track down one of these programs that takes off all the clicks and scratches, but for normal use it is probably not worth it

If you have a DVD burner you may be interested in the September issue of PC-PRO magazine. It has a DVD burning program on the cover. They are given away from time to time, but the one on this CD, CyberLink PowerProducer, is worth a look because it will make DVD slide shows from pictures. This means that I can take all my directories of stuff from the camera and make rather a nice presentation from them, with chapter videos and a musical accompaniment if I want.

Fill Those Bins

Been to York today for a meeting about the product that can't be named. We were in yard near the Railway Museum. As we were talking a little train was trundling up and down the sidings with a bunch of people crammed aboard taking in the joys of being pulled along by steam. I've been on steam trains before, and once the novelty of sound it makes when you get going has worn off it feels just like any other train really. However, watching them arrive in the station is really nice (and you can do that for nothing at Pickering Station).

The Railway Museum in York is worth a look if you like trains, but probably a rather horrid kind of hell if you don't. But it is free to get in. They have one engine you can walk underneath and look at all the moving bits. It is a area of technology (getting the most movement out of burning coal) that has completely vanished nowadays. Sort of like computing will be in around, oh, sixty years or so...

Isn't it funny what you fall over whilst using Google. I was trying to find a site for the Pickering Railway (no joy I'm afraid) but instead I fell over a site for Yorkshire Waste Management. They have a special offer on home composting as I write this. Enjoy.

At Last, a Happy Ending

Consider if you will the case of the BBQ with a happy ending. Robert arranges a small conflagration at his house to commence at around 15:00 hours. At 14:55 the chairs and tables are arranged and the BBQ is being fueled. At 15:00 the heavens open and all the land is blessed with rainfall. Cue fifteen minutes of frantic "putting things away" followed by a nervous retreat indoors. Robert postulates final proof of the existence of, if not God, then certainly the devil, in terms of the coincidental timings of BBQ and downpour. At which point the sky clears, the sun comes out and a good time is had by all. Read into this what you will. I'm off to bed.

The Floor Show

Got people coming round tomorrow so we have been doing some tidying up. Nothing major, just so that you can actually see the floor on the landing. Got a shredder for my birthday so I have been shredding things prior to throwing them away. Just things like bank and credit card statements - nothing too secret.

For some reason I'm scared of someone stealing my identity; which is an interesting prospect.

Busy Man (but not useful)

Sorry folks. Can you believe I was to busy playing WarioWare Inc. to fill in my blog? Yep, it is true. Nearly finished the game (at least for the first time) and it is still super. Best game of the year so far (although I quite liked Microsoft Midtown Madness for the XBOX).

The product which cannot be named has won another award. Maybe I will cast off all secrecy and reveal to a hushed audience the nature of this mystical beast.

WarioWare - Buy it!

Question: Do you have a Gameboy Advance?

If the answer is yes, buy a copy of "WarioWare Inc."

If the answer is no, buy a Gameboy Advance and then buy a copy of "WarioWare Inc.". Yes, it really is that good. It is one of the most original and enjoyable games that I have found for ages. The big surprise with it is that it is also sociable. I've never seen two player games for a single Gameboy before, and they are great fun to play. Explaining what the game is all about is rather tricky, it is a collection of little games which are played in succession. They get progressively more frantic and dafter as you get deeper into the game. I'm not sure of the long term appeal, but at the moment I'm having a ball!

Birthday Rainfall

Not been to work today. Feel that I am allowed to slack if it is my birthday. Got a whole bunch of DVDs as pressies including Family Guy season 3. If you have not seen Family Guy you have a treat in store. It is like the Simpsons without the cheese. Some people say it is loud, crude and obnoxious. This is kind of surprising - since I like it and.... oh...

Also got the James Bond of BBQ toolkits in an ultra posh case. Then had a BBQ and it rained a bit....

I have this strange power (no - not that one). When I have a BBQ it rains, unless I have one by mistake. Today I bought a new pair of sunglasses (bad move) and planned a BBQ (very bad move). And it rained. Now that I have the full kit as it were we can probably look forward to a serious lull in the good weather we have been enjoying. And it will be my fault. Sorry folks. Tomorrow I'm going to buy 20 umbrellas and a Sou Wester (if that is how you spell it). Hopefully this will fix the problem.

Sega GT 2002 for XBOX

Hmmm. Sega GT 2002 for XBOX. Good game. Got started, spent nearly all my money on a lowly Fiat Punto. Won the first few races and then earned some more cash which I ploughed back into the car. I really like the way that the car handles. The graphics aren't the best around, but they are adequate and the draw distance is good enough to let you plan for the corners rather than react to them.

It is so like Grand Turismo for the PS 2 that a "look and feel" lawsuit would be a walkover for Sony. It even has the cheesy music and prize displays. However, it also has some other really nice touches. It is the first XBOX driving game to take the replay side properly seriously. There is something really nice about watching your wonderful driving all over again. Particularly if you can take snap shots, save the best videos and so on.

Only problem with my copy, after half an hour of hard racing I had a nicely tuned machine with upgraded engine, brakes, tyres and suspension (I always go in that order) and then the game reported a disk problem and I lost the lot. Ho hum, never had this problem before. Unfortunately, rather than saving as you go along (like a game on a hard disk machine should do) GT 2002 saves when you tell it to. Result, all that hard work and planning gone to waste. Never mind, there is always tomorrow...

Proof of the Pudding

Been exam boarding at Doncaster. A bit like snow boarding, but without the mountains, snow, snowboard, ski-lift and good times. Good fun reading the project reports though. The students have done some amazing work - but one thing stands out a mile when I read these, and that is everyone (including me) is improved by good proof reader. Just because Word has not put red wavy lines underneath your deathless prose does not mean that it is perfect. Even the grammar checker (green wavy lines) is sometimes useful - although I've yet to find anyone who knows what "verb may be used in a passive sense" actually means. If it is important, i.e. worth marks, money, a better job, a place on a course etc, then get someone else to read it. Don't worry that it is technical and they won't understand it (if they don't understand it at all you are a pretty poor writer) most of the big mistakes are in the simple stuff.

My favourite on the day: "The first stage of a project is the Design Panning Meeting". I've been to a few of those in my time....

Good Place to Eat

No time to play games. Too busy running about having a good time.

Hull students, if you want to show your parents a good time (and probably get them to pay for you) get them to take you to the Wolds Village Restaurant. Good food which is not exorbitantly priced in very pleasant environment, with a nice little gift shop attached. And they have their own web site.

Group B Monsters?

Been shopping, this time bought a couple of video games, one of which I'm not allowed to play just yet. The other is Sega GT 2002 for the X-BOX. I got it cheap, second hand. Second hand games are a really good idea (although you do have to wonder why you would want to buy something another person has already rejected - anything which appears in the second hand racks within a week of release is probably a bad deal - but after 8 or 9 months I reckon you are OK). I like driving games and I'm kind of looking for a Grand Turismo game for the X-BOX.

Not played it yet, but some of the race titles in the manual appear kind of tempting, the "Bridgestone Amazing Race" might be fun, and I'm really looking forward to having a bash at "Group B Monsters". I wonder how Godzilla handles

Yar Boo

For all those who think that writing a blog is silly. This should shut you up.

Went to Scarborough to dish out some more degrees. Lovely location at Spa Hall and a free lunch. And everything went just right.

One of the graduates, Thomas Hoy, picked up a 2:1 at the age of 80. I just hope I'm doing as well at his age.

Gift Aid

One of my project students came to see me bearing gifts today. He has just completed a tough degree and worked really well on it. His mom came along and had brought me some presents from China, a pair of fans and a nice thing to hang on the wall. It is great to be appreciated. I just wish I had been smart enough to have something to give back. I think I'm going to get a stock of Uni. T shirts in for just such occasions. Anyway, thank you very much Yang Xu and best wishes for the future.

Came home to find Number One Son and friend watching the Resident Evil movie DVD. It is quite a good film if you like video games. I'd love to be the person that writes the dialogue:

Expendable 1 : "Look Out"
Expendable 2 : "Over there"
BANG
Expendable 1 : "There's hundreds of them.."
BANG BANG BANG WHOOSH BANG
Expendable 2 : "Oh heck (or similar)"

However, if I did write the dialogue I would try to inject a little more realism into the production:

Expendable 1 : "Let's split up and search the place"
Rob : "Are you mad?! Lets get the heck (or similar) out of here and go for a burger"

Of course my efforts would pale into insignificance when compared with what the real writers can come up with. Consider this from Tomb Raider the movie:

Lara: "It's from my father. He must have written it before he died"

I nearly died laughing at that one.

Anyway, Resident Evil gives the sound system a good workout. I hear they are making a sequel. I wonder if it will be a musical?

So much for the Wasps

Number One Son wants an ibook. Not a notebook PC, but an Apple ibook. I think that it is just part of his chosen path to make dad's life as difficult and expensive as possible, but it does mean that at 09:59 I'm waiting for the Apple refurbished store to open so that I can try to get one for him without destroying my credit card limit. Son has sort of gainful employment and undertakes to pay me back, hah, but wants the shiny new toy now....

Ho hum. Store closed this week. Nice trick that, say the store is only open for a few hours a week and then close it anyway..

But I have nailed the wasps though. (we had a wasps nest over the porch which I had decided was one too many). The first stuff I tried was a few years old and was a white powder which turned out to be just white powder. I squirted it in the nest and the wasps had a rather nice winter themed party with snowmen and everything. Apparently the active ingredient decays over time. So I bought some more stuff which seems to have done the trick. I'm a bit worried about turning up in heaven to be confronted by a whole bunch of angry wasps who "want to have a word with me", but I'm reliably informed that wasps don't go to heaven, so I should be OK. (of course this pre-supposes that I will, but I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt just right now).

Graduation Guy

One of the highlights of the year. I did my graduation day warmup speech. In City Hall, in front of all the graduates and their families. I really love doing this, especially with students that I've actually taught something. Seemed to go OK, but by gum it was hot. And there we all were in our nice thick suits with gowns on top. I felt most sorry for the ones on the platform, because they have all this plus the bright lights beating down on them.

I was v. pleased that the VC (Vice Chancellor) mentioned the .NET degree and the Imagine Cup success in his speech.

Did a second degree ceremony in the afternoon which went fine until I kind of brought down the wrong row of students, forcing the Dean to try to give James's degree to Jessica. Arrrgh! Never, ever, done that before and will never, ever do that again. Note to self: when you think you have done the hard bit don't slow down - because some of the easy bits can turn out to be quite hard as well..

And the blog has another reader (stand up John). He made the mistake of following the link in my email sig. and read the lot. But will he return? Only time will tell...

So Much For Jack

Morning: Sorting out exam questions and syllabuses (syllabi?). Afternoon: Developing a spec. for version two of our wonderful (but still top secret) product. Evening: Writing more stuff for the PIC CD-ROM.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But what if Jack starts off dull?

Day of Rest eh?

Sunday. Day of rest. Except for me. Spent the day updating the new C4PICS CD-ROM. Probably shouldn't have added the camel joke.

Wear it with Pride

Went shopping(yay) for clothes(boo). Apparently I have no taste. My liking for primary colours (and orange) never seems to fit with what passes for sartorial elegance in these (or indeed any) parts. I also tend to buy things "because they are really cheap" rather than "because then can be worn without causing embarrassment to those who have to admit knowing me". I once bought an entirely white suit (of course it was surprisingly inexpensive). This I thought was the height of style and I wore it whenever possible on social occasions. I had to give up in the end because too many people thought I was (a) the cabaret or (b) dead. I ended up using it to wash the car, as in with rather than wearing. Ho hum. Escaped today with just a pair of jeans.

...while Rome burns...

Hah. Worked. I now have a DVD which will play on all the machines in my house, and the X-BOX. Rob's recipe for DVD success is PIONEER 106 DVD burner, ULEAD DVD Movie Factory and Bulkpaq DVD-R disks. There may be better solutions, but this lot seems to work OK.

Not necessarily true dept: "Concern is growing about the state of the links in some of the pages on the internet world wide web. Some of these links have been in constant use for over ten years and are beginning to show signs of wear and tear causing browsers to spin off onto random sites. The BBC is having to replace frequently used links on its web pages and there is increasing concern amongst government scientists that a terrorist attack which "wears out" a link by repeated visits to it could cause the internet to come to a crashing halt, leaving millions cut off from civilisation and having to resort to conversation and meeting real people".

Colour me stupid. I've only just figured out why Nero is a good name for a CD burner program. I think it should make this clearer by playing violin music as it runs....

Doing Stupid Things

Hmmm. Pesky wasps. We have a wasps nest in the flat roof just above the porch. Just the way to greet visitors, with a cheery hello and a sting which makes their head swell up like a balloon. I know that we are all part of the fabric of the universe and every creature has its place in the wonderful tapestry of existence. But the wasps have to go.

I guess it is that time of year. We have had nests before, usually just before a child's birthday party with half the school class coming round to trample jelly into the carpet. The first nest we had a guy come round who brought a space suit kind of thing which he wore while he squirted white powder into the nest. This was good, but cost us thirty quid. The second time I bought some white powder from the local shop (price six quid) and did my own squirting - without a space suit. I really wanted to buy a space suit but they didn't have any in stock. I wanted to wear it one morning to wake the kids up, but it was not to be.

I hate hot weather. It makes me do stupid things. Like play with DVD burners. I've just acquired one and I've been trying to convert a video into a DVD. I downloaded an evaluation copy of Nero (the premier DVD and CD writing program) and captured my video using Windows Movie Maker, thinking that I could then use Nero to burn it. Wrong. You need an authoring tool. So, off to the web and get an evaluation copy of ulead Movie Factory. Then I worked my way through the program and got to the point where I think I've made a DVD. I quite like ULEAD products, but they always have this fake menu system laid on top of windows. They probably think it makes it easier for novices to use, but to people who know what windows and buttons are supposed to look like it can be a bit confusing. Anyway, now to burn my first ever DVD. Crack the seal on the box, open it and put the the top disk in the drive and close the door. And curse.

They put these foam spacers on top of the disks in the container. I'd of course forgotten this (hot weather I guess) and had to watch the DVD and foam widget vanish into the drawer. Of course when I pressed eject the foam thing stayed inside. Cue much cursing and stamping. Followed by lots of prodding, followed by stripping the drive down to remove the cursed ring. I've now got the thing sitting in the corner chugging whilst the disk is built. The counter currently stands at 3 hours to completion, i.e. sometime tomorrow. I'll let you know if it works.

Sneak Up on the Dishwasher

Blimey. Just got an email from a lad who attended the open day on Saturday. He has sent me a screenshot of a browser he wrote in VB. And he is 14 years old. I've told him about Gotdotnet, Codeproject and Devhood (three places that any aspiring programmer should take a look at) and maybe we'll see him one day. Or perhaps he'll just buy us all out.

Hah. Just fixed the dishwasher. Some jobs you have to sneak up on, and the dishwasher is one of them. It has been getting stuck in its program for some time. I'd traced it to a problem draining, but despite attempts to clean it out the problem persisted. Until now. I'd been meaning to take a look today but it wasn't until 11:00 pm that I dared try. It it had known I was coming it would have been able to put up a fight. As it was, I had it away from the wall and the pipework out before it knew what hit it. And found a huge blockage in the pipe. Which is now no longer there. And so we are now a home of happy gurgles and speedy draining. Which is the way it should be. And I'm off to bed.

The Power of the Laser

Last week I was standing in a large computer store (of course I can't tell you the name but they had a whole World of PCs in stock). I was holding a little tank of black ink priced at 35 quid. They say that inkjet ink is now more expensive than vintage champagne. Anyway, I was all set to buy this when it dawned on me that I hate inkjet printers. They are slow, noisy and they run out of ink. Even if you don't print anything the ink fairy comes and empties the tanks so that next time you press the button it prints half a page and then runs out. The really advanced ones have special chips in them that tell you the cartridge is empty even when it isn't.

I've tried refilling cartridges (the world is divided into two camps, those who've tried refilling ink jet cartridges and those who don't have stains all over their trousers). I've also bought "compatible" ones (some of which have actually worked) and tried to love them.

However, standing in the shop, holding the little plastic box and thinking "Hey, in two or three weeks I'm going to be doing exactly the same thing again" was just too much for me. So I went and bought a cheap laser printer. It cost me four and a bit cartridges (or 150 quid). It will be good for around a couple of thousand prints (around the same as four and a bit cartridges) and it will be quick and silent. As far as I know toner does not evaporate and you get that nice, invigorating, ozone smell while it prints.

Of course I'm going to miss the spot colour which was nice when you print out web pages and I'm going to keep one inkjet around for prints from the camera, but as far as I can tell you'd be mad to get an inkjet if all you want to do is print black text on paper. Of course at some point I will need to buy a new toner cartridge, but it comes in at 60 quid and at least I'm getting some mechanical bits for my money.

One other note, don't ever, ever, get tempted to fill up the toner in a laser printer. I have done this precisely once. It was a long time ago, I was young and desperate (as opposed to old and desperate). The toner ran out in the middle of a really important print job. So I snaffled some from the photocopier and poured it into the laser printer. Bad move. The first print came out great. Strong contrast, lovely definition. The second print came out great too. But it had the first print on it as well... Things went downhill rapidly from this point, eventually printing out what looked like wordsearches with black blobs all over them. It took me around half a day to clean the drum and get the printer to work again...

I've since been told by people in the know that refilling toner cartridges is quite OK if you are sensible enough to use laser printer toner rather than photocopier toner. However, I would add a couple of warnings - I seem to remember being told that laser toner is carcinogenic so try not to touch or breath in the stuff. Also, if you get any toner on your clothes you should wash it out with cold water. If you use hot water it fuses the toner to the material. For ever.

All Praise the Specification

Writing software again. We are producing some upgrades for a product that I might be able to tell you something about one day. Ian and I reckoned we knew what to do, but the occasion really demanded a specification. So we started writing one. If there is one thing that I've learnt over the years as a programmer it is that there is really, truly, nothing like writing a specification to convince yourself that you don't know anything about the problem. Never, ever, start coding without one. Our simple, tiny little fix is now described in a couple of pages of closely reasoned text which cover everything from installation and upgrade issues to the order in which buttons are to be pressed on the screen, and who can press them.

And we can now be quite confident that we know what the customer wants, and that we can give it to them in a way which will work.

Don't Rain On Me

I don't post much on Sunday. It is the official day of rest. However, suffice it to say that we had a barbecue and it didn't rain!

Eye Toy Good

Open Day. We invite lots of people to roam around the university campus and we give them talks on stuff. Did what I thought was quite a good presentation about Computer Science, with a reasonable turnout who seemed to enjoy it. Then adjourned to the display area.

Then Number One Son arrived with a new toy which we set up on the video projector. He had brought along an EyeToy. This is a new add-on for the Playstation II which is a webcam and a set of image processing programs. It is kind of difficult to explain what you can do with it, basically it lets you play a number of simple video games with you in the picture. The ones that went down best were the window cleaning one, where you wave your arms to clean windows, and a "keep up" game where you have to bounce a virtual ball for as long as possible. I'm not sure of the long term appeal, but it was great fun for the kids there. It would also make a wonderful "after the pub" game for grown-ups in a dance mat kind of way. For only forty quid, including the camera, it is also pretty good value.

Then home. Last week I bought Twin Peaks, series one, at half price and so we sat down to watch a couple of episodes. Number one son is getting quite hooked on it, I'm a bit worried in case they don't tell you the murderer after series one. I've a horrible feeling that they took the marketing decision to spin it out for as long as possible after its success. I hate it when they do that, and it means I'll probably have to get series two. Very obvious from watching Agent Dale Cooper where a certain Fox Mulder came from...

Open For Business

Spend a day tidying things up and getting ready for the open day tomorrow. We are still getting fallout from the Imagine Cup competition. Someone got in touch today wanting to hire the students! Nothing doing until 2005 unfortunately, but we should be able to set up some very interesting final year projects if all goes well.

Open For Business

Spend a day tidying things up and getting ready for the open day tomorrow. We are still getting fallout from the Imagine Cup competition. Someone got in touch today wanting to hire the students! Nothing doing until 2005 unfortunately, but we should be able to set up some very interesting final year projects if all goes well.

Plastic Pipes

Today I was at an exam board in Doncaster. This was supposed to be yesterday according to my calendar, but seeing as I was the only on who thought this (having got the date wrong) we decided to go with the majority and have the event on the proper day.

Quite a successful occasion, one of the students had produced a very impressive project which was a mix of hardware and software, and assembled plastic pipes. Fortunately, the chap in question works for a plastic pipe assembly company, so it all worked out very well in the end.

Back Home

And so back to Hull. Where it is raining. More later, a bit busy catching up and sorting things out.

Blimey

Blimey. Third Place. Blimey. Out of fifteen worldwide. Blimey.

You never dare to think you have a chance, and when we saw the standard of the other entries we very worried because they were all so good.

And then the team clicked. And sparked. And off we went. And came third. With a team of first years who learnt .NET just this year. To say we are happy about this is a bit of an understatement!

I've got to say a huge thanks to Gavin and Caroline of Microsoft, who have been fantastic in getting the project off the ground and then giving support all the way through. I also want to congratulate the team, who put in enormous amounts of work, particularly in the last three weeks or so. I'm pretty sure that they have all surprised themselves by doing this. If the aim of the competition is to raise horizons and build confidence it has succeeded beyond measure. It has been fantastic to watch a team build itself from the ground up. I've read books on team building and management (the best ones are from Steve McConnell and published by Microsoft Press - take a look) and it was fascinating to watch as the team just created itself.